Mephisto-Phil-ese

All Day Benefit Jam at Cary Street Café

2009-02-27T11:00:00.002-05:00

On Saturday, March 14th Cary Street Café will be rockin thanks to some of Richmond’s finest musicians and CSC owner Robyn Chandler who will host the:

WE ♥ WYATT BENEFIT JAM

Wyatt Brewer, a fixture around the Richmond music scene for many years, underwent reconstructive heart surgery at MCV Hospital last month. He is now going through a somewhat lengthy recovery period and his many friends have all graciously agreed to help out. The party begins at 1:00 p.m. on March 14 and is scheduled to run till 8:00 pm. Five bands are on the bill and there may be other guest appearances throughout the day. It promises to be one helluva jam so mark your calendars and get there early so you won’t miss any of these featured acts. In order of appearance the scheduled bands are:

SPACE HEATERS

Katelyn Wyszynski of richmond.com writes:

“The Spaceheaters, a psychedelic jam band, has been firing up the streets of Richmond since 1997 but the band's popularity really began to flare in 2005, booking more shows in one year than in all of the previous ones combined. With noticeable influences drawn from country, blues, metal, rock and techno, this band is guaranteed to fire up a fun time.”

If you like hard edged rock and roll, this band will not disappoint you!

EL PRESIDENTE

El Presidente’s sound has been described as “a heavy guitar laden metal-rock, flecked with gloom, doom, and southern charm.”

Kate Bredimus of richmond.com writes that despite variations in musical tastes within the band, they are all heavily influenced by the “trinity that is beyond reproach”: Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and Black Sabbath.

‘Nuff said. These guys rock!!

ACOUSTICATS

World renowned guitar pick-up guru Lindy Fralin, his brother Gary, Brad Tucker (Burnt Taters), and Dan Roberts come together for what looks to be a great show. With musical influences ranging from rockabilly to zydeco these guys will cook up a musical stew that should not be missed!

THINK

Think, originally formed in 2003, feature an interesting fusion of jazz, funk, rock and blues with a little Latin groove thrown in for good measure. The band members Dylan Barrows (guitar), Tommy Booker (keys), Bobby Hudson (drums), and Zach Hudgins (bass) come together for a hot sound and infectious groove that is bound to rock the crowd!

HARRISON DEAN BAND

The Harrison Deane Band has been rockin' Richmond for over 10 years now. It all started in1995 when singer/songwriter/guitarist Harrison Deane joined up w/ lead guitarist John Leedes to form an acoustic duo. Band members came and went over the first 5 years but Harrison's consistent songwriting and musical chemistry with Leedes developed to near telepathic levels. The band crystallized into its current form at the onset of the new millennium when Richmond music veterans Bobby Jorgenson{bass} and Joe Conner{keyboards} joined the band. With the most recent addition of Rocky Orndorff on drums, The HDB is on top of their game and sounding better than ever. The band has remained a fixture at the Cary St. cafe and countless other Richmond nightspots as well as playing at a wide variety of private parties and functions ranging from weddings to political rallies from 2001 to the present time. In addition to the original material HDB plays scores of familiar and obscure cover songs. Their extensive repertoire will take listeners on a varied emotional ride and keep them dancing all the while.
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Folks, this is going to be a great day of music and fun for a good cause. Ten bucks will get you in the door for seven hours of primo music from some of the best musicians this area has to offer. Come on out. You’ll be glad you did and our friend Wyatt will too!!

Peace, love and music to all!!!

Here's Where the Story Ends

2008-09-19T15:07:00.009-04:00

people I know, places I go, make me feel tongue-tied
I can see how people look down, they're on the inside
here's where the story ends
people I see, weary of me showing my good side
I can see how people look down
I'm on the outside
here's where the story ends
ooh here's where the story ends

it's that little souvenir of a terrible year
which makes my eyes feel sore
oh I never should have said, the books that you read
were all I loved you for
it's that little souvenir of a terrible year
which makes me wonder why
and it's the memories of your shed that make me turn red
surprise, surprise, surprise

crazy I know, places I go
make me feel so tired
I can see how people look down
I'm on the outside
oh here's where the story ends
ooh here's where the story ends

it's that little souvenir of a terrible year
which makes my eyes feel sore
and who ever would've thought the books that you brought
were all I loved you for
oh the devil in me said, go down to the shed
I know where I belong
but the only thing I ever really wanted to say
was wrong, was wrong, was wrong

it's that little souvenir of a colourful year
which makes me smile inside
so I cynically, cynically say, the world is that way
surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise
here's where the story ends
ooh here's where the story ends

Music & and Lyrics by the Sundays

In an 90’s interview with the Sunday’s Harriet Wheeler and David Gavurin, they described the lyrics on their recording, “Reading, Writing and Arithmetic”, as ripped from a page of a diary rather than being a defining statement of their life as a whole.

I think of this blog in much the same way. Nearly a year ago, I was mired in frustration as I was consumed with my writing or , should I say lack thereof. I bounced from one story line to the next only to end with a bunch of unfinished crap. I began to doubt both my ability as well as my resolve when it came to a literary future.

Then, on a particularly good day in November, I got the bright idea of lowering my expectations a bit. I realized that if I wanted to actually finish something, I should start small. That is, go back to basics of beginning, middle and end all in a page or two. Like a journalist!!...only twisted. From that spark came Mephistophilese, the ranting blogger.

This year has been an eventful one for me. I have done a fair amount of traveling, partying, laughing, and crying. All of which have inspired me in equal measure to express myself… in writing. The last couple of months have been particularly bizarre as I have been consumed with human loss, a potentially fatal car crash, and a trying family battle over an estate that includes a sizable corporation. As my partner and I emerge from this experience, we find ourselves changed but somehow richer for the scrapes received. I find myself as reflective as ever, yet somehow more satisfied to simply live and let live. I realized the other day that aside from a brief periods of nicotine withdrawal, I’m just not that pissed off anymore. I’m happy about that in most ways; however, I fear that my days of delivering irreverent and acerbic blog rants may be numbered.

I find myself thinking in terms of new directions and story lines. One’s that may divert my attention toward a different style and page. I’ve always lived by two sometimes conflicting mantras. The first is simply, “Fuck it!”. Nihilistic?...yes, but it works for me. Secondly, “Change is good”. I wholeheartedly believe that everything should be questioned and everyone should embrace change as a means of moving forward in a positive way.

So, with those two philosophical rallying cries, I’ll be off again. Can’t say for sure if I’ll keep this site up as a continued release of frustration or reinvent it to support other creative avenues. At any rate, I’ve had fun with it and along the way and Ive gotten some nice feedback from people all over the planet. I still haven't heard from Harriet though. Well, fuck it.

And finally, to Harriet Wheeler, David Gavurin and the rest of the Sundays: you are my constant source of inspiration. Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Peace

Setting the Record Straight or Chef Andy Howell is the Man!

2008-08-01T12:50:00.006-04:00

I can’t help but be amazed at some people and their unmitigated determination to play the “innocent victim of abuse” card. There are many regular patrons of the rvablogs.com site that will read a little self-serving piece entitled “Café Rustica – Chef Andy Howell Hates Kids and Bloggers” (don’t expect me to provide a link to it).

Those unfamiliar with the context or series of events leading up to BP's blog post would certainly assume that Chef Andy attacked the RD&BM author for something he wrote in one of his loquacious recaps of a recent dining adventure. THIS IS NOT THE CASE!!! I simply could not let this one go without setting the record straight. In the interest of both fairness and revelation, Chef Andy’s remarks were in defense of Karen Newton’s (Mash-up Crew) piece “When I Rule the Restaurant World” At issue are Karen’s humorous musings below:

"As a person who eats out in rva four or five times a week, I feel as qualified as anyone to share my wish list for restaurants. They’re totally subjective, so don’t get your panties in a wad if you disagree."

1. "NO children in any restaurants except chain restaurants. I don’t care how well behaved YOU think your child is, I don’t want him in the booth next to me, or being walked up and down the aisle or bothering the wait staff. I go out in the evening to enjoy adult activities in an adult atmosphere and I don’t want to hear your child whining, squealing or otherwise being child like.".........

Well folks, the little pink panties did get a little knotted as evidenced by the angry and mean spirited comment left by BP on the Mash-up site:

Reading your ‘complaints’ I’m guessing you eat alone a lot as your sniping would get on most peoples nerves.
Can you post a picture so if we see you out I can get my well behaved child to throw things at you? Any other stereotypes or generalizations you care to throw about? I’m sure you can piss off a few more people with your intolerant behavior.

It’s a little disturbing that my advertising dollars are paying your salary.
--
Bookstore Piet
Jul. 31, 2008 at 06:39 PM
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Now, how nasty and uncalled for was that? Can you say “overly defensive”? How about “down-right mean”?

That bullyish comment was what the good Chef was reacting to when he posted his comment quoted out of context on BPs site. He was stepping up in defense of Karen’s right to her opinion (on her site). Andy spoke up, as well he should have. BP was clearly out of line with his rude comments. This is surely not evident by the quote on BP’s site.

Any one that knows anything about food and has been in Richmond for more than 15 minutes knows of Andy Howell’s restaurants and reputation as one of Richmond’s top chefs. Also well publicized are his uncompromising views on what a fine dining experience should and should not be. He knows what he wants in a restaurant and also the kind of patrons he wishes to attract. Thank goodness for him and others like him that don't kowtow or cater to every arrogant pedestrian that may stumble upon his bill of faire.

In fear that he might lose more than 2.5 customers, I could not sit idly by and see his comments misrepresented just because someone has a sharp bitch axe to grind. I guess now it's my turn to be attacked. So be it. I merely state the truth.

Peace, Bon Appetit, and YOU FUCKIN ROCK ANDY!!!

WTF?????

2008-07-25T19:34:00.003-04:00

Good question indeed. Wonder where this was taken?

All Good? Well, Mostly

2008-07-16T16:32:00.004-04:00

Another year’s festival on Marvin’s Mountaintop has come and gone, leaving behind a mountain of trash and 18,000 hangovers. I must admit I was better behaved this year than in the past; however, still wild by most folk’s standards. What can I say? I’m still twelve and get excited when I visit the “Island of Lost Boys”.

I had hoped that gas prices would keep the attendance down this year but that was not to be. It was the biggest All Good I have been to with reported crowds of somewhere between 18 and 20 thousand. We arrived by early afternoon on Thursday and by that night the place was packed. With the heavy crowds came the usual headaches encountered at this type of event: longer lines, more burnout wookie wastoids, a longer hike to the main stage, and definitely more noise 24 hours a day. One of our fellow campers, when pleading for a nitrous vendor to shut up at 4:00 am, was admonished for her request and reminded that All Good is not for sleeping. Reluctantly, the low life nitrous tank jockey relocated only to be replaced by another at 6:00am awakening our group with shouts of “Ice cold fatties, five for twenty!!” The Philly Nitrous Mafia was definitely out in force for this one and by the looks of all the blue lipped, oxygen deprived wookies shuffling around, they made a freaking killing.

All things considered, All Good was still a great time. I witnessed some great performances by some of my favorite artists. Grace Potter, Phil Lesh, Derek Trucks, DSO, and Michael Franti all kicked butt. I was even turned on to some new acts that I hadn't heard before like Lettuce and Bassnectar. This year, the live music was pumping till 4:00 am each night and the food vendors served food around the clock. This was a partyer's dream come true in many ways; but, still I’m wondering how long I’ll be able to stand the low life elements that are becoming increasingly present at this festival. Because Tim Walther (the promoter) has found private land as a permanent home for his festival, cops and other law enforcement types are not an issue for the numerous outlaws and free spirits that thrive on these type of events to support their lifestyle. All Good has become known for its “friendly” atmosphere where anything and everything this side of murder goes unnoticed or, at least, unpunished. With this type of reputation, it’s only a matter of time before things get out of hand and someone gets killed. I haven't heard any official stats from the weekend but I do know that breakfast goers on Sunday were treated to an overdosed wookie in the middle of shakedown street being administered CPR and having his balls chilled with an ice pack. Certainly not a pleasant thing to see first thing in the morning. Don’t get me wrong, most all festival goers are peaceful and well behaved, but there is an undeniable presence of organized crime that’s becoming more and more evident each year. By organized, I mean serious drug dealers that recruit an army of young teenage wastoids to hustle their shit and employ mid level redneck hippie thugs to guard their "zones" and beat up independent dealers that infringe on their designated turf. Turf wars were the cause of several violent confrontations I witnessed while there. This is concerning to me and many other regulars I’ve spoken to. As with most “good things”, there are always abusers that ruin it for everyone by having no consideration or restraint. I would urge Tim Walther to begin taking measures now to deal with these forces before they shut down his party for good.

Thoughts on Celebrating My Independence

2008-07-03T16:19:00.005-04:00

Uncle Sam Says: "BE HAPPY...OR ELSE"

As we approach the July 4th holiday, I can’t help but ponder all the hoopla that has come to surround this big birthday celebration. According to our history books, July 4th is the day this country achieved it’s independence and became the United States of America. With the official severance of British ties we became a nation characterized by concepts such as “liberty and justice for all”. So grand was our achievement that we came to set aside that special day in July to celebrate ourselves as members of the greatest nation on earth. We adorn our windows with red, white and blue, display the star spangled banner, eat shitty food and swoon over our great fortune to be free americans.

While I’m all about a party, I like to to feel good about what I’m celebrating. If we are celebrating this nation's birthday that’s cool. This country has come a long way and lasted a pretty significant amount of time so a birthday recognition is certainly in order. However, if we are celebrating the “liberty” and “freedom” that this country has supposedly “given” us, I have to respectively withhold my enthusiasm. Virtually every established country has a bill of rights or recognized list of freedoms that are sanctioned. The U.S. has'nt cornered the market on this concept by any means. When I visit other countries, I’m often struck by the amount of actual freedom people enjoy as compared to most of us in the US. We, the yankee flag wavers, blunder about extolling our libertarian virtues yet remain enslaved by concepts designed to control our behavior as humans beings and actions as citizens. Hell, the very act of overt patriotism is often a means to infringe on the rights of those who dare to dissent. I have discovered this many times while being attacked verbally and physically by flag waving Piranhas, frothing at the mouth to get at me as I marched and protested against senseless wars or inhumane treatment of others. Dare to step out of line in this country and pay the price. That’s what this country’s government (as well as most others) is all about. Freedom, or something like it, is the barter that governments hold over the citizenry’s head to maintain control. So, if it’s that type of freedom we are celebrating, I think I’ll sit this one out.

I believe it’s time to establish another major holiday to celebrate liberty and freedom. After all, true freedom is not something any government has the ability to give. The concept of freedom and liberty come from within each of us and we are in control over how much or how little we afford ourselves. For that matter, to hell with a separate day. Since we as human beings are in control of our own happiness and well being, we can all pick our own day to celebrate our liberation. Just let your boss know what day you have designated as your independence day and ask for that day off to celebrate.

So, tomorrow as I’m drinking, noshing, and watching fireworks, I will remain as reverent as I can in honor of the birth of the country we have come to know as the good old US of A. I’ll try to feel something akin to pride in the accomplishments of its people. I’ll attempt to feel good that I’ve been given the day off by our government. But, I’ll save my liberty and freedom celebration for a more appropriate time.

Countdown to All Good

2008-07-03T09:09:00.003-04:00

Hot damn, a week from now I'll be on the road once again to the 12th annual All Good Music Festival on Marvin's Mountaintop in Masontown, WV. This is probably the only festival I'll make this summer so I'm pretty psyched. The line-up is good this year featuring Phil Lesh & Friends, Widepread, DSO, Grace Potter, Derek Trucks, Franti & Spearhead, and Brazilian Girls just to mention a few. Another cool thing about this year's festival is there will be late night sets every night beginning Thursday for the early arrivals. We always get to festivals early to avoid long lines and hassles and this year we'll be rewarded for our effort with a killer line-up on a small intimate stage. Thurday looks like this:

Early Arrival in the Campground:

2 AM The Join *Late Night*
(Shields & Shearer w. Benevento & Russo)
11:45 Brazilian Girls
9:45 Perpetual Groove
8:30 PM Jazzam

I'm really looking forward to Brazilian Girls having caught them a couple of years ago at the Virgin Festival in Baltimore. I've been a big fan ever since. They are a bit of a departure from many of the acts one sees at All Good but their groove is infectious and I expect them to get a good reception from the early birds getting their initial vibes on next Thursday. Perpetual Groove should also be a treat. Local boy, Brock Butler, originally from Fredericksburg is a co-founder of this band that got its start in Savannah while Brock attended Savannah College of Art and Design. I spoke with Brock a couple of weeks ago in Savannah and he told me he originally studied Sequential Art at SCAD before becoming a full time musician. Lucky for us he chose music as he's an incredible guitarist.

Here's the rest of the weekend musical itinterary:

Friday, July 11th

2:00 AM Gov't Mule *Late Night*
1:15 SOJA
10:00 Phil Lesh & Friends
9:15 Lettuce
7:45 Medeski Scofield Martin & Wood
7:15 All Mighty Senators
6:00 Grace Potter & the Nocturnals
5:40 Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band
4:40 The Avett Brothers
4:20 Basshound
3:20 RAQ
3:00 MJ Project
2:00 PM The Wood Brothers

Saturday, July 12th

2:00 AM Dark Star Orchestra *Late Night*
1:15 The Bridge
10:00 Widespread Panic
9:15 Bassnectar
7:45 Keller Williams w. Moseley, Droll & Sipe
7:15 Pnuma Trio
5:45 Derek Trucks & Susan Tedeschi Soul Stew Revival
5:20 Telepath
4:20 Mike Gordon
4:00 Scrapomatic
3:00 Tea Leaf Green
2:40 Rex Jam
1:40 Hot Buttered Rum
12:30 Outformation
11:30 AM Eric Lindell

Sunday, July 13th

5:00 Michael Franti & Spearhead
4:20 Danielia Cotton
3:00 Railroad Earth
2:30 deSol
1:15 JJ Grey & Mofro
12:00 Bonerama

It's not too late! You'll be able to get tickets at the gate, so grab your tent and a case a beer. It's always a good time and the crowd is a friendly one. Most are too wasted to cause much trouble.

I personally can't wait to get to West, by god, Virginia for this throw down. Music, parties, camping, freaks, hippies, wookies, wastoids, and mayhem. What more could a guy ask for? Hope to bring back pictures.

Peace

Unbelievable Catch

2008-07-03T07:53:00.003-04:00

Check out this video of a ball girl showing up the left fielder by making a spectacular catch in foul territory. As an ex-ball player, I know how hard these types of catches are. Amazing!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WYATT !!!!!

2008-06-28T11:37:00.003-04:00

Wishing a big birthday to my bro Wyatt. As he always says: "Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional."

Right on brother! Let the good times roll.

Cutest Things Ever!

2008-06-27T07:25:00.009-04:00

A friend of mine from China sent me pictures of the baby pandas at the Sichuan Wolong Panda Protection and Breeding Center. I was supposed to have visited the Pandas last month but the earthquake foiled that plan. The pictures show one of the recent "baby booms" when they were dealing with 16 baby pandas at once. They are quite serious about their panda breeding over there. When young, the Center staff care for these cute little fellows as if they are human. The cubs are meticulously fed and monitored around the clock.

Once weaned, the panda cubs even attend a kindergarten of sorts where they are taught basic living skills that will help them as adults. Once these guys get up to speed, the cycle starts again with another large group of female giant pandas as they get artificially inseminated.

These are absolutely some of the cutest creatures ever. I wish I could get a job raising these little dudes.

Virginia's 100th Execution

2008-06-25T14:36:00.003-04:00

The article in today’s RTD entitled “100th execution will draw opponents” certainly touched many readers as evidenced by the deluge of reader comments attached to it. While I was encouraged by the number of insightful comments from death penalty opponents, I was equally discouraged by the venomous reaction from death penalty advocates. See if you can glean the underlying emotions behind the following reader reactions:

"The hell with taxpayers money taking care of him and anybody else that takes a human life, they should all be put to death! I hope and pray Gov. Kaine finds no reason to stop it!"

"I saw a execution years ago over seas.The man was tried in court on Monday and found guilty and sentence on Wed. and beheaded on Friday. I think that's they way it should go and stoped waisting our tax payers money. And maybe our crime rate will go down."

"Glad to see there are still supporters of the death penalty. How about we make the opponents of the death penalty pay for these lowlifes to be incarcerated for the rest of their lives instead of those who are for the death penalty? Guy goes to prison at 18 for a brutal murder...that's a long time to pay taxes for him to live the rest of his life when his victim didn't get that chance. Make the bleeding hearts pay extra in their taxes to keep him alive if they're so concerned. I say fry 'em."

"I absolutley support the death penalty, the problem is we do not use it in the proper way. We should not wait 10 to 15 years to do the execution we should also go back to the days when it was done in the view of the general public. I am sick of hearing how these murders should be excused because they had a tough life. The problem is they have no regard for life and took no mercy on the victims so there should be no mercy for them. "HANGEM HIGH" they serve no good to society."

"These so called opponents are a joke . I hope none of their loved ones are ever murdered . But if they were , would they still be happy to pay for the monsters meals and a nice clean and air conditioned cell and his health care for the rest of his life ? If it doesn't effect them they just keep spewing the same garbage that their churches have brain washed them to do . They no longer think for themselves . As it stands they are on the side of the murderer and should be treated as such."

"What is the definition of civilized? Was this punks murderous act civilized? Hardly! That's why he deserves a bullet to the back of the head!"

"Punishment should not only equal but should actually be more severe than the crime committed. The only punishment that can equal murder is the death penalty. This man should have been executed years ago. It is a shame he has spent years living at the tax payers expense. Execute this trash now and get on with the next one!"

So, what are the common emotional underpinnings of these comments? How about anger, frustration, alienation, fear, powerlessness? And let’s not forget about the biggie…. HATE!!! I’m reluctant to point this out for fear that I will be construed as an apologist for violent criminals; however, the emotions conveyed by the vehement death supporters don’t seem too far from the emotional traits attributed to the violent offenders that commit these heinous crimes.

How long can we as a society hold on to the same old paradigms? This is no longer the land of John Wayne. We can no longer afford to wave off complicated issues with a cowboyish “hang em high”, “god forgives, I don’t” mentality.

It’s time to face facts. Children who grow into adulthood with the inherent or acquired willingness to kill others don’t come by that proclivity on their own. They learn it by viewing and hearing the hate that we adults spew on a daily basis. When it comes down to it, hate is hate regardless of its justification.

Peace

War in Richmond Blogdom

2008-06-20T14:29:00.002-04:00

I’ve been away for a while busying myself with pursuits other than blogging. I must say it’s been quite pleasant breaking free from the blog rut. I have resisted both the urge to post, as well the temptation to surf other blog sites. It's been a literary cleansing of sorts. Well, the hiatus ended during a lesser moment yesterday when I paid a visit to good old rvablogs.com. Imagine my surprise when I found the top 10 lacking in its usual spate of political pontification and fundamentalist fodder. Instead, we have a new kid riding a wave of controversy to the top of the “who’s hot” list. Yep, old Jocelyn Hard Balls has managed to get River City blogging elitist’s collective panties in a large wad.

I can only imagine how delighted Ms./Mr. Hard Balls is to get all this attention. And I must ask: for what? Certainly not for humor or writing skill. Hopefully a lesson was learned by those so eager to be offended by the newcomer’s provocative attempts at humor. If one wants to get rid of a nuisance, simply ignore them.

And with that said I will end with a warm welcome to Jocelyn, whoever you are, and thanks for shaking up the status quo. Now go away.

Peace

The Day China Stood Still

2008-05-27T13:21:00.001-04:00

I recently read an article that described the Chinese people as being emotionally non-expressive and non-aggressive by nature; however, courageous and fearless in the face of adversity.

I witnessed this firsthand last week as the People’s Republic began a three day period of mourning one week following the worst natural disaster their country has seen since the last devastating earthquake of 1976. For the past couple of weeks I have been in Beijing and was moved by both the heroic rescue response to the devastation in Sichuan as well as the dignity and solidarity of the Chinese people in the aftermath of tragedy.

I was traveling through the Olympic Village area last Monday on day one of the three day mourning period. The Government called for all of China to stop and observe a three minute period of silence at 2:28 pm, the time that the first shockwave was felt one-week prior. All vehicles and people were to stop and remain silent. The exception was trucks and busses were to sound their horns. That is exactly what happened. I was in a city of 17 million people, on an extremely busy thoroughfare and everyone stopped dead in their tracks at the stroke of 2:28 pm. It was truly moving and humbling to witness this tribute. I have a hard time imaging such solidarity in the U.S.

Later that evening as I strolled around the area of the Forbidden City and Tiananmen Square, we witnessed spontaneous demonstrations of solidarity as large groups of people marched in the streets behind their National flag shouting CHINA in unison. This was the courageousness that I read about as the people seemed to be shouting in the face of nature’s fury: We are strong and will not be broken!

On the last day of three-day observance, we walked around the Houhai Lake district of the Hutong, the heart of Beijing’s nightlife. Instead of loud music coming out of every restaurant and bar, there was reverent quiet with candles lit on the sidewalks, many of which were arranged in the numbers 5-12-08, the day of the earthquake. No public entertainment or music was played for those three days. No television station aired anything but coverage of the quake. Everything else continued as normal. The City carried on its usual buzz of activity, only in a quieter, more reverent manner. It was truly a wonder to witness.

The Chinese media covered only stories of hope and strength featuring the valiant individuals that were risking or had risked their own safety to rescue others trapped in the Sichuan rubble and devastation. There were no stories of how the local or national response was bungled or how people were screaming at the lack of help they were receiving. This was also refreshing to someone that witnessed the aftermath of Katrina and the swirl of negativity fed by the vulturous media in this country. That type of hopelessness and helplessness doesn’t play well in a country like China that stands strong and united in the face of adversity. I think many in this country could learn a lot from the Chinese people were they to be open enough to do so. There really is strength in numbers, as long as people operate as one.

I met people that were from the areas worst hit and had family there. I expressed my sympathy to them and they graciously expressed appreciation for my sentiment but showed no obvious signs of grief and distress. That type of emotion was either expressed privately or put off until after the crisis period was over. Their attention seemed only toward moving forward and helping the living get back on their feet. The strength and positive attitudes from the people that I met will stay with me for the rest of my life. I truly hope I can visit their country again. They are truly a great nation of people.

Too Good to be True?

2008-05-27T10:31:00.002-04:00

I certainly hope not. Got this video and it brightened my day. Imagine the impact this could have on our world.

China Bound

2008-05-12T19:52:00.004-04:00

I'm leaving for China tomorrow. And, if traveling in a plane for 14 hours, bound for a country of 1.5 billion people that don't speak English isn't stressful enough, there's earthquake devastation to deal with. Of all the places to choose from, we picked the Sichuan Province to visit. Well, what the hell. We didn't want to be bored. Who knows what we will be encountering. There should be plenty of pictures and stories from this trip. Back in a couple of weeks.

Peace

TGIFFF Let's Party!!!!!

2008-05-09T13:11:00.013-04:00

Time to BLAST OFF another wild and crazy weekend!!!

Just remember to pace yourself. Your friends do not want to drag you out of situations like this:

And guys please, as the night wears on, remember to check yourself carefully after each visit to the men's room.

For God sakes, be mindful of the law when out partying. Although you may seem invisible when drunk, you are not. Police are always right around the corner.

Whenever possible, take along a designated driver

Designated drivers will help avoid situations like this

or this...

Also, remember alcohol impairs judgment. That hot chick you took home from the bar may not be as appealing to you when you wake up the next morning.

In some circumstances, severe impairment may warrant just staying put and sleeping it off. After all, tomorrow is a new day.

And finally, be respectful of others at all times. Don't be a drunk fool and provoke conflict. There are plenty of folks out there that would just as soon whip your ass as look at you.

So,have a great weekend! Party down but, for goodness sake, be safe.

Peace

Countdown

2008-05-07T08:22:00.008-04:00

It's beginning to sink in. Six Days to go before heading to the other side of Planet Earth, destination Beijing. Every day from here will bring more last minute preparation and anticipation. After a fourteen hour non-stop flight and a twelve hour time loss, I'll be stepping out into a country totally unfamiliar to the average Westerner..... or, maybe not.

Based on these pics from the Beijing airport, looks like The People's Republic is making great strides toward cultural plurality in preparation for the Olympic invasion. I guess they found out that foreigners are serious about their basic creature comforts.

For those seeking to relieve themselves, there are now choices according to one's method of delivery:

If neither flexible, nor adventurous, have a seat!

Or, cop a squat!

Those with doubts about familiar culinary choices can rest easy as well. These are some of the first sights seen upon arrival to the airport:

If I see an Applebees there I'm going to turn around and come home.

Further Freaky Food Foto Friday

2008-05-02T09:34:00.012-04:00

In keeping with my Friday Foto theme, here are some more creative food shots for your artistic appetite! Eat well, live well, and treat yourself to the First Friday Art Walk Tonight!!!!!!!!!

Progress Report on My Conversion to Conservatism

2008-05-01T16:19:00.003-04:00

Man, I’ve been learning a lot reading these, whatcha call conservative political blogs lately. I've been learning what’s right and what’s wrong and what a good American is supposed to believe. I must confess, there are still a few things that I get hung up on but I’m sure that’s just me. I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed by any means. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

It’s ok for politicians to be affiliated with religions that have cult-like roots, bizarre separatist rituals, a record of institutional racism, and/or systematic protocols to cover up sexual abuse;

However…..

It’s not ok for politicians to have a church pastor that dares to speak out about the U.S. Government’s foreign and domestic policies, or it's record on human rights. That is just wrong because it is hateful and divisive.

*********************************

It’s ok to use the church pulpit to speak out against the evils of homosexuality, the Nation of Islam, feminism, and liberalism in general. The Bible tells us it’s ok to hate “sin”;

However….

It’s not ok “that a minister would use the sacred Christian pulpit to push his politically driven agenda and use rhetorical techniques to whip up negative and destructive emotions in his congregation” (sacred words of Janice Shaw Crouse not mine). God forbid this ever happens!

*********************************

Its ok to use acceptable methods of supporting U.S. troops such as displaying yellow ribbon magnets on the backs of SUVs and voting for candidates that support the war effort.

However……

It’s not ok to support our troops by advocating, promoting, or fighting for peace in any organized fashion. Such futile endeavors demoralize our soldiers and annoy those that would otherwise steer our nation in an unobstructed path toward economic superiority.

*********************************

It’s ok to advocate for tougher immigration laws to keep those undesirable Latin American aliens out of our country.

However……

It’s not ok to criticize the economic policies, consumerist principles, and dependence on cheap labor that created the opportunities for immigrants in the first place.

*********************************

It’s ok to be extremely skeptical of any scientific research that would support the existence of global warming and to scoff at those that believe the future of our planet is in jeopardy. Such belief is simply reactionary and alarmist and supports a subversive agenda.

However……

It’s not ok to criticize the EPA or any government sanctioned scientific body that would have the where-with-all or political motivation to falsify any research that might threaten this country’s economic agenda. They are simply the best and most independent group of scientific minds in the world. Just ask them.

*********************************

Ok, that’s enough for one day. I’m sorry if I got any of this wrong. I’m still learning all these conservative principles so please cut me some slack. I’ve been told that I can learn even more, at a quicker pace, if I tune in to AM radio stations owned by Clear Channel Communications. I think I’ll try that. Maybe then some of these universal truths can sink in better. I hear they've got some damn fine radios for cheap over at the Wal Mart. I’m there. Later,

Peace, er… War I mean,

Phil

Tornado Damage in Driver

2008-05-01T09:27:00.005-04:00

I have the distinction of growing up in a town that virtually no one has ever heard of. Even many folks born and raised in surrounding areas such as Norfolk, Portsmouth, or Hampton are likely never to have heard of it. Imagine my surprise when I read this in the R-T-D following the storms that devastated Suffolk this week. After 100 plus years of anonymity, the little village of Driver gets news coverage for being blown off the map!

Driver is one of those sleepy little crossroads that once functioned as a supply and social hub for the farmers that made up the largest part of the population in Nansemond County. Nansemend County no longer exists, having been swallowed up by the City of Suffolk in the 70s. As a child, I grew up accompanying my grandfather on his daily visits to Driver where he was one of the better known farmers in the area. He was a avid participant in the political affairs of the town, with daily meetings held in the feed and grain store run by his good friend Captain Jack. Then it was on to Mr. Arthur's General Store where the Post Office was located. Mr. Arthur was the town's Postmaster, Grocer, and one of the principle landowners in the township. The store had one of those old glass displays containing their entire selection of assorted candy and treats and if I would stare through the glass long, and longingly enough, I would be granted my choice of the day. Then, if my grandfather would be caught in another extended conversation, I would go across the street to the Driver Variety Store to travel the aisles of old shellaced wooden shelves filled with dusty odds and ends that no one ever bought. Most of their inventory was either outdated or useless, but fun to look at nonetheless. The store was run by Mrs. Birchard, an old woman of part Native American descent, who appeared to me to be at least 120 years old. She sat around an old pot bellied stove with a shawl around her and never had to move because no one ever bought anything. It is that same old store that was completely demolished this week by the tornado.

As all of my family from those parts have either died or moved away, I don't get the chance to visit anymore. With the recent storm however, I feel the need to go back there just to see if anything is left of the boyhood memories I am now struck with. Funny how we never really realize the importance of things until they are gone.

Cats Are Strange Creatures

2008-04-29T14:56:00.004-04:00

Cats never cease to amaze me. This story from the BBC made me laugh because our cat, Harley has a curious habit of leaving for extended periods (escaping actually), only to show back up a couple of weeks later acting as if nothing has happened. We have never figured out where he goes when on one of his walk abouts. But, he never comes back dirty or emaciated so he must enjoy himself. Who knows, maybe he has another family someplace that wonders the same thing when he comes back to us. At any rate, cats are entertaining and that's why we put up with them.

Freaky Food Foto Friday!

2008-04-25T14:42:00.008-04:00

Who knew pictures of food could be so creative and fun?
Happy Friday and bon appetit.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGIE!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-25T09:49:00.003-04:00

Today is a good day. Not only is it Friday, it's my beautiful partner, Angie's birthday. Birthdays are always fun for us as we are one week apart and get to celebrate both for an entire week. Our birthday weeks usually involve some type of vacation or special road trip to mark the events. This weekend will be spent on the Appalachian Trail with friends and the dogs, revelling in the beauty that is the Blue Ridge in Virginia. Spring should be in full costume now and, with all the recent rain, the shades of green should be quite a sight to behold.

It's hard to believe that we are entering our fourteenth year together. Each year is somehow more special than the last and for that we are truly blessed. Happy thirty-something Ang! It's your day and your world. We are glad to share it with you. Love and Peace,

Phil

Another Thing I Will Not be Doing in China

2008-04-25T08:17:00.003-04:00

The countdown has begun and in a couple of weeks I'll be barnstorming the People's Republic. I've been joking to friends that I will be wearing a "Free Tibet" tee shirt upon my arrival; however, after seeing this story in the R-T-D, I'm definitely re-thinking that one. These dudes are serious about not freeing Tibet.

God, I’m a Sick, Sick Man

2008-04-22T16:46:00.003-04:00

For those that read my warped crap on any regular basis, questions as to my sanity (or lack thereof) may have already been answered. Given the following e-mail exchange this morning between me, my beautiful partner, and another couple, all doubts or remaining questions may be definitively put to rest:

From Joe (pseudonym)
To: Phil, Angie, Natalie (pseudonym)
Subj: Indian for Lunch

Indian anyone?

From: Phil
To: all

Joe, I thought you were a vegetarian. You can’t be eating Indians for lunch! Sorry, I’m a little punchy from lack of sleep. What time?

From Joe:
To: all

Anytime after 11:30.
What did you do last night?

From Phil:
To: all

Chased Angie around the house in my shark outfit while she pelted me with water balloons.

From Joe:
To: all

If the balloons would have been filled with butterscotch pudding, you would have just described my fetish fantasy. Can I borrow the shark outfit?

From Phil:
To: all

Certainly, as soon as I get it back from the cleaners. Has a few mustard stains. Won’t bore you with that story.

From: Angie
To: all

You guys have fun, I can’t make it. Have tight deadlines and an exhaustive day ahead.

From Phil
To: all

Shame. Guess that also means you’ll be too tired to play on the trapeze tonight.

From: Natalie
To: all

Y’all are sick. I can’t do lunch either.

From: Phil
To: all

I’m still in (if no cannabalism involved).

From: Joe
To: all

Me too, I want to hear the mustard story. Meet you at noon.

Freaky Foto Friday!!!!!

2008-04-18T17:04:00.013-04:00

Have you ever wondered what our favorite Hollywood celebs would look like if they were just everyday working class shit kickers. You know the kind of good old plain folks that grace the local Food Lions and Wal Markets of America. Well thanks to our friends at planethiltron.com (whoeverthehellthatis), you have to wonder no more! Enjoy:

Pamela Anderson

Jennifer Anniston

David and Posh Beckham

Tommy Cruise

Johnny Freaking Depp!! (hillarious)

Cameron Diaz

Nicole Kidman

Jennifer Lopez and that skinny guy she's married to

And finally, the true Jessica Simpson

Time for a Potty Break

2008-04-17T15:17:00.004-04:00

A little toilet humor for your enjoyment.

Click on the image to enlarge.

Well, Who Knew?

2008-04-17T11:54:00.003-04:00

I received one of those "fun facts" type e-mails today informing me how I could tell the difference between organically grown and genetically engineered produce. I was immediately skeptical and hopped on snopes.com to see if this was another urban legend making the rounds. Well, turns out this one is true.

Fruits and vegetables have those annoying little stickers with PLU (price look-up) codes on them. Ordinary vegetables have a 4 digit PLU code. But, if the item is certified as organic or genetically modified, it will have a 5 digit PLU code. The organic produce will have a PLU code that begins with a 9 (i.e., 94825). If a produce item has been genetically enhanced, modified, or otherwise scientifically screwed with, the 5 digit PLU code will begin with an 8 (i.e., 84825).

This is useful information for anyone that cares about what they put in their bodies. For years, sneaky little GMOs (genetically modified organisms) have been weaseling their way into our food supply. Initially, screwing around with mother nature via genetic tampering was seen as a way to grow bigger, better, disease and insect resistant, or somehow healthier stuff. As with most things too good to be true, we have now come to realize a myriad of potential and real risks associated with genetically altered plants and animals. The concerns range from threat to the environment to danger to one's' health. Today, scientific concern, if not plain old common sense, should be impetus enough for anyone to try and avoid GMOs whenever possible. Now, when I cruise that beautiful produce section at the local market, I can feel a bit more confident about my choices.

I think that's pretty freakin cool! Who knew? Uh oh, now I wonder what kind of grain is going into my beer, naturally occurring or genetically modified? Hmmmm..., something else to worry about now. Shit!

Peace, and healthy eating!

Let’s Quit Being “Bitter” and Move On

2008-04-15T16:00:00.001-04:00

The proverbial straw grasping and nit picking that’s going on as a result of some candid and pointed conversation between Mr. Obama and a group of voters in San Francisco would be hilarious if not so telling about the limitations of each candidate in this presidential race. No matter how the candidates try to spin this “bitter” thing, it all boils down to throwing shit into a hard wind. Each ends up with turd on their face.

In the case of Ms. Hillary’s spin, an equally large can of worms threatens to escape if the issue is pushed too far. Take for example this statement from the Clinton Machine:

"I saw in the media it's being reported that my opponent said that the people of Pennsylvania who faced hard times are bitter. Well, that's not my experience. As I travel around Pennsylvania, I meet people who are resilient, who are optimistic, who are positive, who are rolling up their sleeves. They are working hard everyday for a better future, for themselves and their children."

I would wager that there are more than a few working class voters in Pennsylvania that are just as off put by this rah rah, pep rally spin. There are pissed-off people in the hills, dales and heart lands that hold no faith or hope that their voice will ever be heard by elected officials in this country. Do these folks want to be characterized as resilient and optimistic? No, they want to be heard. Seems to me the pot may be just as “out of touch” as the kettle here. Hillary, it might be time to just back away from this issue and move on to a bit more substantive rhetoric.

Johnny McCain might be better advised to back off as well. His camp’s spin, issued by spokesman Steve Schmidt may have some potential for deadly retort as well. He states that Mr. Obama’s observations show “an elitism and condescension towards hardworking Americans that is nothing short of breathtaking”. Further, “it is hard to imagine someone running for president who is more out of touch with average Americans”.

Well, excuse me, Mr. Average Joe McCain, what would you know about average Americans anyway? What the hell has your party, or any party for that matter, done in the last umpteen years to help the economic condition of “average Americans” in this country? I’m sure there are many waiting anxiously for the itemized list. Every attempt by the McCain camp to align themselves with the working class of this country is apt to wind up as fodder for the opponents to make political hay. Again, John and company may be better served by simply backing away from the self righteous table.

When all is said and done, I believe that every candidate has, at one time or another, engaged in candid, analytic discussion of the demographic voter base they are faced with somehow reaching. When one engages in this type of discussion, generalizations are going to be tossed around in an attempt to make sense of the data. Such was surely the case when Barry fell into the briar patch in San Francisco. Let’s look at an expanded transcript of his remarks rather than the isolated text that’s been circulating the spin market.

So, it depends on where you are, but I think it's fair to say that the places where we are going to have to do the most work are the places where people most cynical about government. The people are mis-appre ... they're misunderstanding why the demographics in our, in this contest have broken out as they are. Because everybody just ascribes it to white working-class don't wanna work -- don't wanna vote for the black guy. That's ... there were intimations of that in an article in the Sunday New York Times today -- kind of implies that it's sort of a race thing.

Here's how it is: in a lot of these communities in big industrial states like Ohio and Pennsylvania, people have been beaten down so long. They feel so betrayed by government that when they hear a pitch that is premised on not being cynical about government, then a part of them just doesn't buy it. And when it's delivered by -- it's true that when it's delivered by a 46-year-old black man named Barack Obama, then that adds another layer of skepticism.

But -- so the questions you're most likely to get about me, 'Well, what is this guy going to do for me? What is the concrete thing?' What they wanna hear is so we'll give you talking points about what we're proposing -- to close tax loopholes, uh you know uh roll back the tax cuts for the top 1%, Obama's gonna give tax breaks to uh middle-class folks and we're gonna provide healthcare for every American.

But the truth is, is that, our challenge is to get people persuaded that we can make progress when there's not evidence of that in their daily lives. You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton administration, and the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not. And it's not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.

Um, now these are in some communities, you know. I think what you'll find is, is that people of every background -- there are gonna be a mix of people, you can go in the toughest neighborhoods, you know working-class lunch-pail folks, you'll find Obama enthusiasts. And you can go into places where you think I'd be very strong and people will just be skeptical. The important thing is that you show up and you're doing what you're doing.

I personally applaud Barry O.’s candor and attempt at analysis, but must concede his remarks should have been tempered with an acute awareness that everything he says will likely be used against him in a court of public opinion. What seems evident from the expanded text of his remarks however, is much less of a case of elitism on his part, and a greater case of determination to reach a demographic group that needs a bigger voice in government.

That being said, Obama, like his fellow talking heads, needs to back away from this issue and move on. Further attempts to explain context, indignantly retort, or make light of the situation will just keep this ball of shit in the air longer that it needs to be. Mr. Obama needs to keep his head down and continue to do what he needs to do. See the people, hear what they have to say, and spread his message to all that will listen. Just like that kid from Hope, he needs to keep it simple. Most folks want the promise of a little positive change and an opportunity to feel the slightest bit of inspiration from the one that would lead us down the path of darkness for the next four years. Leave the analytical discussion for the staff of true insiders behind closed doors.

The Clinton Legacy aka Freaky Foto Friday

2008-04-11T12:38:00.003-04:00

For all those that would refute the impact that Mr. Clinton had on Washington, this photo is proof positive that the Clinton legacy is secure for many years to come. We miss you Billy Boy!

In Search of the Finest Ass in Beijing

2008-04-09T16:18:00.001-04:00

Thanks to the gruesome gourmand, Andrew Zimmern, host of the Travel Channel’s Bizarre Foods show, my upcoming trip to Beijing, China should be full of adventurous, if not perilous, dining experiences. As luck would have it, Mr. Zimmern recently featured the city of Beijing in one of his shows. For those unfamiliar with this show, let me provide a succinct description. Andrew Zimmern travels the globe in search of the most unique and, in the eyes of most Westerners, utterly disgusting foods one could imagine putting in their pie holes. With great gusto, Zimmern noshes on everything from sheep testicles to cow utters, all the while oohing and ahhing over the magnificent flavor and preparation of these bizarre delicacies. Never once have I seen this dude gag. I’ve even seen him eat penis with a smile and a smack of the lips. Dude’s crazy.

Being the quintessential world thirsty travelers we are, Angie and I watched the Beijing episode of Bizarre Foods with great interest. I’ve vowed for months now that I’m going to sample a wide variety of bizarre foods while in Asia. After all, why not? When in Rome…as they say. I’m up for scorpion on a stick, fried beetles, tree larvae, and the like; however, Zimmern has upped the ante on me with his visits to some of Beijing’s more unique dining establishments. Who knew that donkey was a delicacy? Turn’s out there’s an upscale joint over there that serves the finest of fare, all featuring donkey meat. That’s right, the meat of the dreaded and lowly ass. Their ass is served cold, braised, boiled, stir fried, baked, broiled and fricasseed. They even feature dishes made with thinly sliced and fried donkey skin! As most Westerners would be, I was initially a little repulsed at the idea of eating donkey. After all, donkeys are close relatives to horses and we don’t eat horse here in the states. But, after watching Andrew plow through a variety of elegantly prepared dishes of donk, Angie and I are looking forward to finding this four star ass establishment. The meat looked quite lean and is reportedly quite healthful and full of omega-3 fatty acid (like yak) so what the hell. I do hope we can find the same restaurant where he ate because I’m definitely not going to Donkey King or McDonkey’s to get my first donkey fix in China. I do have some standards.

Before writing me off as a complete nut, I must say that I do have limits. Andrew featured one restaurant in Beijing that I will not be visiting. Recently opened, Beijing is now home to one of the finest restaurants of its kind in the world. In a luxurious setting, bizarre food aficionados can now enjoy a wide selection of animal penises from around the globe. One can enjoy dog penis, deer penis, donkey penis, and every other kind of mammal appendage, all served in a variety of succulent ways. They feature penis hot pot, penis fondue, raw penis, pickled penis and, for the indecisive, a penis platter. In other words, this is a penis emporium, the likes of which, no penis lover has ever seen before. Furthermore, if one is wealthy enough and places an order months in advance of their visit, that lucky diner can even feast on tiger penis for a mere $5,700 a plate. Who cares if tiger penis is only obtained through illegal market trade and is threatening to endanger this noble species of cat? They sure do have some tasty genitals. In all seriousness, I will be avoiding the penis at all costs. It’s just not my thing. Call me squeamish. It ain't happening.

I go to visit my physician tomorrow and plan to discuss my intentions with him in hopes he will provide me with an variety of antidotes should my adventurous palette prove too much for my delicate American digestive system. I would truly hate to spend my time in the Middle Kingdom holed up in some infirmary ruing the day I got my first piece of ass in China. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Peace, and happy dining.

Demon Alcohol, Damnable Flu, and TGIFFF!!!

2008-03-28T15:37:00.002-04:00

Where did the last three weeks go? Well, let’s see…. there was a week in Savannah for St. Pattie’s Day celebration, a week of detoxification, exacerbated by the worst case of flu ever, and a week of excruciating back pain brought about by laying on my ass with the flu.

Thanks to abstinence, Nyquil and a variety of pharmaceuticals, today I find myself some worse for the wear but human once again. Hard to believe it’s been three weeks since my last blog entry. But I’m back just in time for Freaky Foto Friday!!!

This one was taken by a fortune hunter searching for that illusive prize at the end of the rainbow. Finally someone was able to locate and photograph the fabled pot. However, to his and everyone else’s chagrine, the pot was not filled with gold. The dream has been shattered once and for all. Wouldn’t you know it!

Freaky Foto Friday

2008-03-07T07:13:00.010-05:00

OVERDOSE VICTIMS

I'm posting these graphic pictures of overdose victims not for shock value, but rather in the hope that you will have a frank discussion with friends and family about respecting moderation, understanding limits, and knowing when to just walk away.

Remember...
This did NOT have to happen...

Grace Potter: Not a Secret Anymore

2008-03-06T08:29:00.003-05:00

Grace Potter and the Nocturnals, pictured here on the recent cover of Relix Magazine and dubbed "America's Best Kept Secret", played an amazing set at Toad's Place last night. It's the fourth time I've had the privilege to catch her live and every appearance has been a musical and visual treat. She's got it all. Looks, appeal, energy and, most importantly, immense talent. Her vocal range is incredible and she's got great chemistry with her band. She's able to transition seamlessly from ass kicking rock to soulful, bluesy standards. In short, GP&N rock big time. If everyone in the house didn't know beforehand, they do now, Grace and the boys won't be a secret much longer.

Car Theft in Richmond's Fan District

2008-03-04T14:36:00.003-05:00

A friend of mine, who will remain anonymous,, is somewhat famous for his antics while under the influence of intoxicating beverage. He has entertained me on several evenings with his seemingly endless tales of misadventure while partying it up. Recently however, I was informed of his latest, and perhaps greatest, escapade second hand. I can't wait to see "Bob" and give him shit over this one.

I'm told that, about 11 days ago, "Bob" and a group of revelrous friends hit the Fan for some bar hopping and fun on a Friday afternoon. With Bob at the wheel of his Volvo wagon, they found a parking place within easy walking distance of their final waterhole of the evening before returning home to their spouses and children. I guess that "one for the road" multiplied and by the time Bob was ready to head home, he had a full fledged pisser of a buzz on. Well, when the group rounded the corner of the block they left the car in, Bob was sobered a bit to find his Volvo was gone…vanished. Realizing that Volvo station wagons are a hot commodity among the chop shop set, Bob knew immediately what had occurred. Some sonovabitch had gone and stole his damn car! Old Bob, being the ever resourceful one, knew exactly what to do. He did what any self respecting drunk man would do in that same situation. He called his wife and asked her what to do. Needless to say, she arranged to get the boys safely home while making all the requisite phone calls to the police and insurance company to report the crime, allowing Bob to do the only thing he could in this situation, remain drunk until further notice.

If you have ever been the victim of a car theft, you know what a pain in the ass it is. There's all the red tape and reports to be filed while you are suffering the emotional toil of feeling simultaneously boiling mad and sadly violated. The cops offer little or no reassurance that your car will ever be found in one piece again and the insurance company won't budge until completing the process of making sure your car is actually stolen and won't be found. Bob and his wife spent a week of ritualistic phone tag with the police and the insurance company, hoping in vain for some break in the case. Everyday it was more of the same: no leads yet and not enough time had elapsed to process a claim. After a week of this frustration, Bob had had enough. It was Friday, a week since the theft, and the next course of action became amazingly clear... go drinking down in the fan. With a buddy volunteering his chauffer service for the evening, the group of merry pranksters hit the saloons again, with a vengeance.

Well, the next part of the saga reminds me of a story an old drunk man once related to me. It appears that, in the recesses of the human brain, there is a secret memory compartment to which admittance is permitted by only one key. And that key is copious amounts of, you guessed it, alcohol. When Bob and his friends exited the bar last Friday evening, Bob decided to ask the group's indulgence as he mosied up the street to the scene of the crime one week earlier. As he approached the corner and peered down the side street, he sadly noted that there was still no car sitting where he had happily left it. But instead of turning to make the trudge back to his friends, that last swill of beverage, from moments earlier, kick started the magical process the old drunk man described to me. That secret memory compartment opened just a crack. Without realizing exactly why, Bob kept walking until he reached the corner of the next block. That side street looked much the same as the previous one with one notable exception. His Volvo station wagon was sitting among the rows of parked automobiles, exactly where he had left it approximately 168 hours earlier.

Well, feelings of relief at this discovery were instantly tempered with a sinking dread as Bob did what any self respecting drunk man would do in this situation. Bracing himself for the avalanche of shit preparing to hit him, he called his wife with the good news.

From what I hear, Bob is still in the early phases of living this one down. While I feel for him and don't want to pour any salt in this gaping wound of embarrassment, I'm secretly plotting how and when to bring this one up the next time we're together. I do hope it's not too long before his wife lets him back in the house so we can plan a little party.

About Your Story Sam...Sorry I Asked

2008-02-29T16:05:00.002-05:00

I've come to the conclusion that curiosity is not always a good thing. Since my last post about Mr. Samuel James Tilden Moore III, I just couldn't resist digging deeper to find out more about what I suspected was an interesting, if not sad story. Intrigued by the lack of information readily available about Moore and his background, I was determined enough to do some real digging in the archives. Suffice it to say my suspicions of connections, voiced previously, were not only confirmed but underestimated.

Herein lies the rub. In my zeal to dig up a juicy story, I forgot that knowing more can sometimes be a bad thing. I'm left now with an overwhelming sadness for his family, both living and departed, as well as for old Sam the 3d himself. His story is not unlike that of many privileged offspring that somehow are lost in the wake of the accomplishments and expectations of their prestigious families. It's sometimes hard for those that were underprivileged to grasp how wealth, connections and advantage sometime have such a destructive impact on one's life. It appears that such is the case here.

Out of respect to a fine family, I'm going to hang up my detective hat and relate none of the specifics on what I have gathered to date on Sam and his kin. If there are those that wish to know more, there is a wealth of information if you are resourceful enough to find it. My recommendation however, would be to let it rest. It's just another tragic tale of a fine Southern family lost in the aftermath of a kingdom vanished.

Good luck Sam. You're damn sure gonna need it. GOBs are a dying breed.

T G I Freaky Foto Friday!!

2008-02-29T07:53:00.005-05:00

Here we have a couple of shots from the wedding of Mr. and Mrs. Broaddus Z. Pugh who were married at their home in Sow's Branch, Arkansas.

Next, we have unearthed an early promotional foto of the B52s before they discovered drugs and a better manager.

And finally, proof positive that the Southern Baptists are indeed becoming more progressive. Who knew?

So What's Your Story, Sam?

2008-02-28T08:32:00.002-05:00

Something tells me Mr. Samuel J.T. Moore III is quite an interesting character. Thanks to the Times Dispatch's coverage of Mr. Moore's illustrious rap sheet, my curiosity about this guy was definitely piqued. His perfect record of acquittals on some pretty major charges, coupled with his pedigreed moniker inspired me to do a little web searching. Turns out Sam's father is an author and southern historian of some note, having published a comprehensive history of Richmond during the Civil War as well as being a frequent presenter to and past president of the Richmond Civil War Roundtable. For those that know anything about old Richmond society and the Great Lost Cause, them's pretty impressive credentials in the GOB circle.

Think about it. Who but someone with connections (good or bad) can beat a string of charges like murder, malicious wounding, sexual assault, rape, etc. and still be around to enjoy a pretty high (albeit seedy) lifestyle in the community? Membership, status, and some damn fine lawyers must be in the mix here. Something tells me there is a good back story to this saga and I really hope some ace reporter can sniff it out. I haven't seen a potentially juicy local story like this one since Clyde "the glide" Pitchford had his infamous run.

Let the fun begin.

Way to Make a Good First Impression National Theater

2008-02-22T09:12:00.003-05:00

I start my day today by finding the following message on the National Theater website:

In the wake of the forecasted threat of a winter advisory predicted to blanket the Metro Richmond area with ice and snow, coupled with the final wrap-up of the City inspections taking place first thing tomorrow, The National owners have decided to air on the side of caution and postpone the sold out Dark Star Orchestra concert to Monday February 25th @ 7:30pm. The National will honor all tickets for tomorrow’s sold out concert for the rescheduled show on Monday night, February 25th with the added benefit of The Radiators at no additional cost. If desired, refunds are available at the point of purchase.

There are some pissed off Deadheads out here and, dammit, we have a right to be. There are a helluva lot of people that have been planning for and anticipating this show for a long time now. Adding to the excitement was the fact that the show was scheduled for a Friday night. In the past, Richmond ususally got DSO on a week night as they passed through town for a major weekend gig. This was big. We get DSO, a brand new venue, and a night to party down with no work the next day.

People can accept the truth but, in a case like this, bullcrap is not acceptable. For god sakes, don't try to blame this lack of planning on the weather. Give me a break! There is "...a threat of a winter advisory"...and the decision is to "air" on the side of caution (nice English Mr. PI officer) and postpone the show? What the hell? Does a politician run this freaking theater? Give it to us straight National Theater owners. Tell us you screwed up. Tell us the City screwed up. Tell us something that makes sense! Take some responsibility and don't blame a fictitious weather advisory that never called for shit in the first place. If you're not ready to open, come clean with it. "Air" on the side of having some balls!!!

Now all the folks that work for a living will have to settle for refunds, be no shows on Monday, and hope that this kind of bullcrap doesn't happen again. Thanks for ruining my weekend Mr. Blame the weather can't get your shit together owner of the fucking lame ass National Theater!

Oh, in case I failed to mention it, I'm pissed.

Peace

Freaky Foto Friday Weather Warning

2008-02-22T07:32:00.002-05:00

If you walk out the door in the morning and

see this in the sky:

Just go back in the house, pour yourself a cup of coffee with a shot, and stay there.
It probably isn't going to be a good day.

Motivational Thought for the Day

2008-02-20T16:43:00.003-05:00

This little animal is called the Naked Mole-Rat and is from Africa.

So, if find you are having a bad day or feel sorry for yourself,

Remember:

Going through life is hard enough, but to go through life looking like a dick with buck teeth is horrible!

A Heartwarming Story!

2008-02-20T09:01:00.002-05:00

STORY OF A LITTLE GIRL AND HER DEAD GOLDFISH

Now and then it is good to have one that is just cute and sweet.
(click on image below for larger size)

There now, wasn't that just a cute and sweet little story?

Here's to You Dead Dudes

2008-02-18T20:07:00.001-05:00

I was the perfect house husband today. I had the day off because I work for one of those organizations that let us have Mondays off whenever one of the holidays I affectionately refer to as Dead Dude's Day comes around. I never know when they are coming. I just wait for someone at work to remind me that we have a day off. It's usually on a Friday when I leave with my standard, "See you on Monday". The strange look I receive from my staff tips me off. It's that exasperated loook that says: "you poor lost dumbass, you've been working in here for 20 years and you still don't know!"

Whatever, I like surprises. Anyway, I decided to surprise Angie by cleaning the house, washing and folding all the clothes, and preparing a wonderful gourmet meal. It was a beautiful 70 degree day today but I resisted the temptation to play on the river and set about doing all the weekend chores that we put on hold so we could do nothing. Strangely enough, today, all those irritating chores became satisfying and I occupied myself all day floating between tasks with the ease of a seasoned pro, juggling food prep with laundry and cleaning, finishing just in time to greet the love of my life at the door with a drink and a kiss.

After a glorious meal, one of my best ever, I mentioned to Angie that maybe this house husband thing may be a good idea. I could quit work, we could save money on house cleaning, and she could be spoiled everyday with my attentive service. Didn't work. "I'll quit work and do all this for you", she said.

The finality in her voice awoke me to the fact that retirement is not in my immediate future. Oh well, at least I've got all those Dead Dude Days to hone my domestic skills.

It's FFF Again!

2008-02-15T16:17:00.006-05:00

As I have been sick with the flu for the last four days, writing anything intelligent or inspired has been out of the question. Just when I'm about to forego posting for yet another day I suddenly remember, It's Freaky Foto Friday!!! Enjoy:

Hurray it's Freaky Foto Friday!

2008-02-08T14:38:00.000-05:00

What did we ever do without the world wide web? We certainly didn't have as many pictures to amaze and entertain us!

First we have a shot from the first Olympic competition for transplant recipients. This gymnast, from the tiny island nation of Maui Momo was the first recipient of a replacement head. As no suitable donors were found, she had to settle for a bit less. Her new "head" does come in handy in breaking nasty falls off the balance beam.

Next we have Stretch Armstrong. As a boy, Stetch longed to become a basketball player; however, growing up in the suburbs his parents preferred he play soccer. Here he is today protesting an illegal use of hands call.

And finally, we have a picture of Bob after having lunch at his favorite cantina in Tijuana.

John Wade, I Salute You

2008-02-07T15:29:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading Richmond's Style Weekly article on John Wade who, at eighteen, was branded a "terrorist" as a result of the federal government's (Anti-) "Patriot" Act and sent to federal prison for three years. John Wade's crimes were neither against humanity nor threatening to any human's safety (other than his own). His intent was to exact a monetary price against those whose actions conflicted with or symbolized a threat to the well being of our environment. While one can effectively argue his tactics and actions as misguided and malicious, there can be no arguing the passion and commitment behind them. It is the same kind of single-minded and passionate commitment that inspired ordinary citizens to throw barrels of tea off a British ship in New England, occupy campus buildings, and burn sections of our country's cities. All of these actions are now popularly viewed as natural responses to injustice rather than the crimes they were at the time. Yesterday's "terrorists" sometimes become today's heroes. I hope environmental activists will someday enjoy such status. The impunity with which our system of government destroys land and natural resources for the sake of the almighty dollar will hopefully one day be seen as equally unjust as other atrocities that we have successfully fought to change.

We should all ponder where would we be if inspired people never found the courage to stand up and take action against status quo. Even if the extreme actions of zealots are sometimes misguided and immature, they get people's attention. Attention that, for good or bad, inspires the actions of others. Scary stuff for a country like ours that thrives on the status quo and the sheep-like compliance of it's inhabitants. And that, my friends, is why we have the friggin (Anti-) "Patriot" Act and is also the reason John Wade is labeled as an extremist and a terrorist.

Today we humans are beginning a national dialogue about our future on a depleted planet. People like John Wade, through his actions and his example help us to begin that discussion. Thank goodness he had the courage to not back down after being abused by the system. John Wade has emerged from his imprisonment remarkably committed to pick up where he left off. Only this time, hopefully, his maturity will guide him to more effective means of affecting change. John Wade for his actions as an adult, not as an adolescent, is a hero and I wish I had half the conviction, passion and commitment that he has. You go boy!

Peace

End of the Line for Twit

2008-02-06T17:39:00.000-05:00

The political scene has pretty much dropped off my radar; however, occasionally a political piece will catch my eye enough to actually read it. Especially if it's deals with the political demise of Twit, er Mitt Romney. The Slate's political blog "Trail Head" features such a piece today and it retored my faith that people in this country are not totally out to lunch.

Chadwick Matlin writes:

"So, what now? Romney's last hope was to remain relevant in California, but that worked about as well as his two-dozen different campaign messages. The next few contests—Kansas, Louisiana, Washington, Virginia, and Maryland—don't really favor him, but that's because the country doesn't favor him. The only region where Romney did especially well was in the mountain West, where Mormons live and news stories go to die. His political life has run its course. It's time to end it."

Follow this link for the entire article.

So long Twit. Your 15 minutes are up. The only sad thing is all of the money you swindled out of hard working people that believed you were something special. Now go back to doing what you do best: being irrelevant.

Notes on a Strange Day

2008-02-02T20:18:00.000-05:00

February 2, 2008

12:00am-2:00am

Catch up on the 2 latest episodes of L-Word. Wonder if lesbians actually watch this show. Wonder if lesbians all looked as good as these women, would there be any heterosexual woman at all. Realize that L-Word has jumped the shark. Sad. It was a good show.

2:00am-3:00am

Sleep fitfully. Awakened at three by Keith sending text message asking if I'm still up. Drunk dialing.

3:01-7:00

Sleep fitfully

7:00am-9:30am

Wake up pondering the theory that Britney Spears has actually been possessed by the lost soul of Anna Nicole Smith. Make mental note to contact Pat Robertson and Dr. Phil and suggest exorcism. Imagine the network bidding wars for that one.

Shower, dress and brace for Suzanne's funeral at 10:00. Wonder what goes on in Baptist churches. Take big slug of Bailey's Irish Cream and head out the door.

10:00am-12:00pm

Arrive at church and pleasantly surprised to find a non-traditional funeral gathering in a hall filled with tables. Mingle. Look at collage boards of pictures. Cry.

Sit at a table with Emily and Keith and listen to family and friends tell Suzanne stories. Ponder whether Suzanne can actually see and hear us as we struggle to make sense of the absurdity and awkwardness of grief. Keith and I have a giggling fit to the horror of the somber ones among us. I am satisfied that Suzanne would have wanted us to laugh. Angie and I pop Suxanne's last CD into the player and leave the funeral in search of the best Bloody Mary available.

12:00pm-2:00pm

Bloody Mary search successful. Brunch wonderful. Mission accomplished.

2:00pm-8:00pm

Watch "Five Easy Pieces and "Edward Scissorhands". Wonder how either was ever considered to be good. Busy myself by preparing the obligatory huge pot of chili for the stupid American faux holiday known as Super Bowl Sunday. Drink beers. Pour beer into pot of chili. Drink more beer. Wyatt comes by to let me know of band playing at Cary Street Cafe tonight. Decide that drinking more beer in a crowded, smoky bar full of hippies seems like an attractive proposition.

Trudge upstairs to post a blog because I made a resolution to do this every day for 365 days. Think of Suzanne. Wonder if there is really life after death and, if so, what is Suzanne doing. Probably still getting registered and moved into her new digs. What's the dress code in the afterlife?

8:00-8:10

Stare at the monitor and scan brain for excess bullshit to type into PC. Prepare to log out. I'm going to drink beer, listen to music and be thankful that I'm alive, healthy and here on earth with the rest of the fuck-ups.

Peace

Bye Suzanne. We won't forget you.

Puuuhleeese, Make it Stop!!

2008-01-31T14:40:00.000-05:00

I’ve made a conscious resolution to limit my blogs to either humor or the promotion of ideas and issues I’m passionate about. I never want to come off like some old fart curmudgeon that bitches about what this world is coming to. We have enough Andy Rooneys already. You know the type, has beens or never weres carping about the good old days (which I believe to be a myth) and how things used to be so much better. Things were probably better back then because they had hair and could get it up. Dare I break my rule? Can I suffer in silence? Shit, resolve be damned, I’m about to tread on forbidden ground. TABLOID MEDIA IS KILLING ME!!!!!!

For the love of Christ!, what the hell is it going to take to get Britney Spears off my TV, PC, Grocery Store aisle, and out of my freaking awareness for-eeeeever!!!! Why the hell is it news every time Spears has a meltdown? Well, I know the answer to that. Because, Britney news makes the tabloid industry major $$$$$$. Our public appetite for scandal and dirt is insatiable, and this poor little ignorant hose bag is one of the few that cooperates by allowing public access to her own little private Idaho. I guess Twitney is the heir apparent to Anna Nicole Smith now. Every time she slurs, snorts, farts, belches, or passes out, it becomes a major story accompanied by photos and video footage. How much of this can the general public take? Apparently more than this dude can.

Making my morning rounds to various major news sites, I am aghast to find that every freaking one is prominently displaying a Britney Spears story. Every single one. Curious now, I go to the major European news sites. Britney story there too. I had to go to a damn Chinese news site before there was no Britney story displayed. I couldn’t read a goddam word on the site but at least it was Spears free. Makes me want to go out and buy Rosetta Stone’s Chinese Language CDs. At least those people have the intellect not to be sucked in by the likes of Bayou Brit, the redneck twit.

I guess Andy Warhol wasn’t Nostradamus after all. His fifteen minutes of fame prediction grossly underestimated the public’s appetite for sleaze. Even the lowest forms of humanity can turn their 15 minutes into 15 years, provided they are willing to consistently degrade themselves publicly.

I’m disgusted with myself now. I just wasted 15 minutes of my day and an untold amount of patience ranting about the one person I most want to forget. Maybe she’s not so dumb after all. I think I’ll go buy her new CD. I hear it’s pretty good.

In Memory of Suzanne

2008-01-30T09:15:00.000-05:00

I lost a friend yesterday. She was very brave. I've known her for years and for most of those years she's been fighting cancer. She beat breast cancer twice and throughout all of her battles she was never down. She was one of the bravest and nicest people I ever met. Everytime I saw her she looked great. Even when I last saw her a few weeks ago. When her cancer returned about 6 months ago, we all knew that it was bad this time, but she looked so good and was so upbeat, I thought that just maybe she could pull off yet another miracle and beat this thing again. A friend called day before yesterday and let us know she was reaching the end. I was so tired that night, I decided to put off visiting for one more day. That was a mistake. She died early yesterday and I didn't get that chance to say goodbye. I deeply regret that and probably always will. I will always remember her however and hope that she is finally resting without the pain that I know she has covered up for all these years. Farewell Suzannne. This world will miss your laughter and cheer. Rest well, you fought a good fight.

Kellie Pickler, Bless Your Heart

2008-01-29T18:48:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine once made the observation that genteel southern folk did not speak disparagingly of other people. If they didn't have anything nice to say, they just say "bless their heart".

Well, Kellie Pickler, "bless your heart".

Things Not to do in China

2008-01-29T15:31:00.000-05:00

While researching places and sights to see while in China this Spring, I've definitely discovered a couple of things I won't be doing. Ever wondered what the beaches are like in China? Check this out:

That's just freakin insane! It also poses several questions:

1) Where do you relieve yourself (other than in the sand or the water?
2) With all those umbrellas, does anyone ever even see the sun?
3) How do you find your kid is they get lost? I guess you don't.
4) If you happen to get in the middle of all those people, how the hell do you ever get out? I guess you have to wait until dark.

I DON'T PLAN ON EVER KNOWING THE ANSWER TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS!!!

A second Chinese attraction I have decided on foregoing is the Wild Elephant Valley. On the surface, it's sound thrilling to get up close and personal with some of the world's most exotic and mysterious creatures; however, a report out of Beijing yesterday causes me a little concern. Read the following:

BEIJING, China (AP) -- A wild elephant in southern China picked up an American tourist with its trunk and threw him in the air, causing the man to suffer from fractured ribs and stomach injuries, an official said Monday.

Jeremy Allen McGill, who teaches English in the central Chinese city of Wuhan, was found unconscious around dusk on Thursday at the "Wild Elephant Valley" nature reserve in the Xishuangbanna region of Yunnan province.

"It wasn't clear why he was attacked," said an official with the Xishuangbanna foreign affairs office who would give only his surname, Chen.

McGill's abdomen and lungs were "seriously injured" and he had broken ribs, Chen said. He was hospitalized and had stitches up to 40 centimeters (15 inches) long on his stomach, said Chen, who had no details on McGill's hometown.

I don't want anything to do with Dumbo the raging pachyderm or Chen the foreign affairs guy while over there. I think I'll stick with more pedestrian pursuits such as eating, drinking, and staying out of the way of beach mobs and charging elephants.

BUI?

2008-01-25T15:11:00.000-05:00

Good thing you can't get arrested for blogging under the influence. I would be making bail about now. I was definitely way over the legal limit for safe blogging last night. If I remember correctly, I drank some white lightning with a friend of mine, went home and, it gets a bit fuzzy past that. As wasted as I was, I somehow remembered to post a blog. God, I'm committed (however uninspired or drunk I may be)!

So, for today I will post a PSA:

Mama, don't let your babies grow up to drink moonshine!

no, that's no good, how about this:

Friends don't let friends drink from a quart sized Mason jar!

nah, too obscure, maybe:

If you must drink and drive, drink only beer!

nuh uh, well maybe:

This is your brain:

And...This is your brain after drinking moonshine:

Just say Yo.

Peace

Photos From the Vault

2008-01-24T21:31:00.000-05:00

What a day.
ZZZZZZZZZeeew.....bllblllbbllblbbluuuuubbllle, oh my god, hello! .... yet here I am typing words that fail to convey much, simply for the sake of ..........zzzzzzzzzzzzzz;.;....0 zzz....

Oh, yeah!..., I remember what I was going to do. I was going to share some cool pictures from the Seventies, directly from the Olan Mills Studio vaults. These things are priceless.

Well actually, I have a lot of them. And, since I may have a lot of uninspired days, I think I'll only give a brief sample tonight. These pictures are great!

Actually, I think this one snuck in from in from the 80's but ain't it grand? This is the stoner that Dad bribed with a couple of bills to get his hair cut and his Mom didn't have time to cancel the photo shoot.

This is Betty Sue. She is from a fine southern family living in a fine southern city. She met her husband, pictured here, while enrolled at a fine northeastern university. He was her anthropology lab instructor.

Bye,

Peace

Read my shit dudes

Harriet Wheeler, Where are you?

2008-01-23T13:15:00.000-05:00

We live in a world where pop stars come and go like the meaningless fluff they create. As with the seasons, their presence and art remain as a warm memory to anchor periods in our life, remembered during occasional flights of nostalgia. It’s rare when an artist can create a body of work significant or worthy enough to command our attention for more than a brief period of time. Even rarer is the artist or group that remains on top for twenty or thirty years, constantly recording or touring enough to garner legions of fans from two or more generations. That type of status is reserved for legendary performers that become enshrined in various halls of fame and, often live the tabloid life that we mortals feed on like hungry sheep.

Thank god for all the fabulous artists and the music they’ve created to move us in degrees both small and large. But, to me, it is for neither the one hit wonders nor the bloated legends that I pine for. For all the artists that have come, gone, or remain as super stars, none hold title to as large a portion of my soul as The Sundays do.

It was in the early 90s that I first heard the voice of Harriet Wheeler, the haunting lyrics, and the jangling melodies that defined the Sundays. While their style could be traced to predecessors like the Cocteau Twins or even the Smiths, it was the voice of Harriet Wheeler that was (and remains) unique. Were it not for college radio or some of the rare independent radio stations, many would have never heard the Sundays. While unique, their sound would never attract mass audiences. That was never what they were about. They did however attract a fan base that would be forever changed and even haunted by Harriet’s voice. While their lyrics were sometimes obscure and even panned by some critics as sophomoric, no one could ever forget the style, passion, and guts with which they were delivered. Harriet remains one of a kind. And with such a gifted voice, a legion of dedicated fans, and the world firmly within her grasp, what did she ultimately decide to do? Walk away. She and her husband David Gavurin, co-founders of the group, walked away to raise a family and live a quiet life away from touring and popular music.

What they leave in their wake is a worldwide group of loyal and adoring fans that remain just as true and passionate about their music as the first time it was heard. Just Google “The Sundays” sometime and you’ll know what I’m talking about. Better yet, listen to their music. Their record, Reading, Writing and Arithmetic has never strayed far from my player for the last 17 years. It moves me as much today as it ever did. For their complete discography, check out this site. It’s the most complete I have found.

I’ve never been one to be star struck. I’ve been around the world of music and the artists that create it for most of my life. Harriet remains the exception. I fell in love with her completely. Her voice will remain with me forever. Harriet, wherever you are, I hope you are happy and realize the impact you have made. Your voice is never far from my consciousness or my soul. These are the words I woke up with in my head this morning and inspired me with the "desire" to write this blog:

And did you know desire’s a terrible thing
The worst that I could find
And did you know desire’s a terrible thing
But I rely on mine
Did you know desire’s a terrible thing
It makes the world go blind
But if desire, desire’s a terrible thing
You know that I really don’t mind

And it’s my life
And though I can’t be sure what I want any more
It will come to me later
Well it’s my life.... and it’s my life
And though I can’t be sure if I want any more
It will come to me later... ah, yeah
Exerpted from “Can’t be Sure”
The Sundays

Sichuan Province Here We Come

2008-01-22T16:30:00.000-05:00

Just when I thought I couldn't be more psyched for my trip to China in May, we just confirmed a sidetrip to the Province of Sichuan. Because of the geographic distance (20 hrs by train) from Beijing, we had originally ruled it out but now have decided to extend our stay and fly from Beijing to Sichuan. After all, how many chances do we westerners get to see China. The picture says alot about why the Sichuan Province is such a must see.

And then, there's the food. I'm a sucker for hot and spicy food, so where better than Sichuan. While there, we're staying in the city of Chengdu. There's is supposedly the best street food in all of China. Angie and I will be in heaven sampling what they have to offer.

And if the food and scenery aren't enough, they have pandas there. Tourists actually have the opportunity to hold and feed the pandas there. After spending my whole life wanting to hold a real panda, my dream will come true!

Damn!, is it May yet?

Cosmic Charlie in Richmond Tonight!

2008-01-18T10:56:00.000-05:00

Gonna be a throwdown tonight at the Canal Club. All that ever tapped a foot, shook their ass, or rode the sweet groove at a Dead show will do well to check out Cosmic Charlie. I first caught them by chance in Savannah and have been a believer ever since. Unlike bands like Dark Star Orchestra that replicate actual Dead shows, these guys channel the spirit of a Dead show while putting their own musical mark into the mix. They are not a just a cover band by any means. Their rythm guitarist John Miley summed it up pretty well one night at Alley Katz when we were discussing their approach to Grateful Dead music and how they differed from DSO. "The biggest difference," he said, "is we have fun with the music." He posed the question: "Have you ever had fun at a DSO show?"

While I personally love DSO and see them frequently, I could easily see his point. While DSO tends to channel the Dead's live experience by recreating shows actually performed by the Dead through the years down to the setlist and instruments, their product is often somber, reverent, and sometimes spooky. They are serious musicians and sometimes that seriousness can spoil the lightness and fun that all of us Deadheads remember and cherish. When it comes right down to it, that's why we continue to go to shows, to have fun and dance our asses off! Cosmic Charlie will deliver on both of those objectives.

Jim Reed, of Connect Savannah writes:
Initially formed in 1999 as a one-off project to laud fallen Grateful Dead guitarist and figurehead Jerry Garcia, this Athens-based tribute act has steadily risen among the ranks of many similarly-themed groups. Today, they are widely becoming known as one of the most faithful practitioners of this most sincere form of musical flattery. However, that doesn’t mean they sound just like the fabled Dead. In fact, one of the things that befuddles some in the crowds —but which has won them the acclaim and friendship of many actual associates of the GD— is their willingness to remain true to the restless spirit of that legendary improvisatory band of psychedelic warhorses.

Using The Dead’s back catalog and voluminous library of officially-sanctioned bootlegs as their guideposts, Cosmic Charlie pull standout tracks and basic arrangements, but pride themselves on applying the same unpredictable nature the original band was known for to their own live shows. And it’s working out very well.

While CC still play regularly at clubs and small venues across the USA, they are increasingly headlining shows in theatres and large, outdoor festivals (including festivals The Dead frequented in their heyday), and it is not uncommon for former GD members or associates to sit in with the group on stage — such as keyboardist Vince Welnick, Ratdog members Mark Karan and Robin Sylvester, and GD archivist and songwriter David Gans.

Says Gans of CC’s devotion to the music he’s devoted a large portion of his life to exploring, “They really are a great band - they do this music the way it should be done: by having the conversation in their own voices.”

This show marks the 12th anniversary of Garcia’s death, and will be their only local appearance this summer. And, yes, unlike The Dead, they do take requests.

So young and old should step out tonight and catch this band. If you like the music of the Dead, you wil not be dissapointed. And don't forget to say hello if you see me. I'll be the one with the good looking wife that dances her ass off!

Peace

Leavin' on a Midnight Train to Georgia

2008-01-16T16:39:00.000-05:00

My apologies to Gladys and the Pips and to all those that are weary of hearing about the R-Braves imminent departure but I couldn't resist. Also thanks to Tony who came in my office today singing this song.

VA proved to much for the boys
(Too much for a team, they couldn’t take it)
They couldn’t make it, so their leavin a life they’ve come to know
(They say they goin’)
They say they goin’ back to find
(going back to find)
What’s left of their world
The world they left behind 40 years ago.

Yes they’re leavin’
(leaving)
On that midnight train to Georgia
(leavin on a midnight train)
Said their goin’ back
(goin’ back to find)
To find a simpler place and time
(when they take that ride, guess whos’ gonna be left high ‘n dry)
We’ll be without em
(yes we will)
On that empty track in Richmond
(they’re on a midnight train to Georgia, woo woo)
We’d rather live in Doug’s world,
(live in his world)
Can’t live without him, oh my
(world, world is his and his alone)

They kept dreamin’
(dreamin’)
That some day they’d be the stars
(a super star, but they aint got far)
But they sure found out the hard way, That dreams don’t always come true
(dreams don’t always come true, uh huh, no, uh huh)
So they pawned all their hopes
(ooh, ooh, oh ooh)
And even sold their pine tar
(woo, woo, woo)
For a one-way ticket to the life they once knew
Oh yes they did, they said they would.

Yes they’re leavin’
(leaving)
On that midnight train to Georgia
(leavin on a midnight train)
Said their goin’ back
(goin’ back to find)
To find a simpler place and time
(when they take that ride, guess whos’ gonna left high ‘n dry)
We’ll be without em
(yes we will)
On that empty track in Richmond
(they’re on a midnight train to Georgia, woo woo)
We’d rather live in Doug’s world,
(live in his world)
Can’t live without him, oh my
(world, world is his and his alone)

Bravos, gonna board that midnight train to Georgia
(x3)

Doug’s world, his world, his and his alone
(x2)

He’s got to go (x5)

Our town, his world, our team, his rules

Sticks and Stones May Break Your Bones but Words Can Freakin' Kill Ya

2008-01-15T16:18:00.000-05:00

In a previous post, I brought up the term “green” and the potential for it to become a meaningless buzz word to be bandied about without making an impact in our overall effort to change our consumption habits in this country. Well, along comes another word with the potential to hang up our efforts. Have you noticed that the term “sustainability” is creeping into our vocabulary at an increasing rate? Don’t get me wrong. I have studied this term, know of its origin and don’t discount the value of it in the academic and environmental arenas. However, as with the term “green”, the danger lies in the everyday use and marketing of the concepts that these two words tend to front.

For years, those that would discount the environmentalists as a bunch of left wing wackos have used tools of logic to their advantage in arguing against change and reform in the areas of conservation, energy, and global warming. Their tactics have been very simple. Divide and conquer the environmentalists by pointing out discrepancies in their research and then scoff at their claims as non-quantifiable. And, it has worked. Now, think about the term “green”. How is “green” measured and what does it really represent. Originally, the term green, referred to conventional environmental conservation efforts involving our land and trees. Now we have everything from green cars to green MP3 players. Not only is “green” becoming watered down as a buzz word, how does one measure green? If a light bulb is designed to use 1/8 less energy than a conventional one and another bulb uses half as much, is one considered light green and the other dark? These types of fuzzy distinctions will thrill the pants off anyone that wants to discount our efforts. The same is true to a larger extent when we start throwing around the term sustainability. We can argue till doomsday over that one. What is to be “sustained”, how sustainable is it, and to what degree of sustainability applies? Put that term in the wrong person’s hand and a naysayer is going to have a fun time making that person look like a fool. In the meantime, nothing gets accomplished and everyone loses except Rush Limbaugh and the rest of his sanctimonious clones that make millions of dollars from industries that stand to lose everything if our habits as consumers change.

Before we, as advocates of social change, open our mouths we need to be sure of what we are proposing and what the outcome of our efforts will be. This effort can begin by speaking in terms more measurable than “green” and “sustainable”. In other words, what do we want to sustain… humanity, the environment, the fish, the economy? And, how sustainable is it? Is it worthy of our effort to sustain it? I fear that we are all doomed to failure if we don’t take a step back and pick our battles wisely. Our world and its complexities can be used as a strong weapon of argument by government and the economic giants that control it. If we as change agents continue to think of the environment as this warm and fuzzy “thing” that needs to be “fixed”, we will be ill equipped to fight those whose very life depends on the status quo. I’m afraid just having a cause that is right and noble won’t cut it. Sadly enough, for those that are firmly satisfied by their beliefs and define themselves by conviction, not everyone thinks that way. Most of us humans would rather not think about our imminent demise. Now, give us a specific problem and solution, and an exact way to get there and, by god, we will crawl over ourselves to accomplish what is necessary. Hanging our hats on the “green movement” or the “sustainability” bandwagon is not going to get us where we need to go. We will just feel good about our efforts to coin meaningless terms to put in the new dictionary of Newspeak.

Those that are in the position to make decisions and make things happen in our world usually have a common way of operating. These folks usually measure things in economic terms like cost effectiveness, cost efficiency, and bottom line. These types of measurement usually trump the arguments of the world’s greatest scholars and experts when it comes to action. This is why we must risk the luxury of being unified as a “movement” and begin to fragment our efforts toward each specific battle that needs to be fought, armed with specifics rather than rhetoric. This is why unifying terms like “green” and “sustainability” should be used as internal jargon within the world of those that are of a like mind; but, protected from those that would use those terms against us to make us look like “tree hugging buffoons”.

OK, I’ll stop ranting now. As usual, I feel better. Time for a beer to sustain me.

Peace

More Yak Facts

2008-01-14T16:47:00.001-05:00

In my never ending quest to promote yak awareness nation-wide and around the globe, here is yet another reason to order your yak today! Yes my friends, these gentle and accommodating creatures can prove trail worthy. Our comrades at Yampa Valley Yaks are offering fully trained pack yaks! Imagine, no more ultralight backpacking on the trail. Tired of having no beer on your long hikes because of the weight and volume. Get a pack yak and you can take along a whole friggin keg! They're great for the golf course as well. You thought the golf course in Pinehurst, NC was cool when they offered llamas as caddies? Screw that. Just think of the fun you and your pack yak will have knockin around the old links together. These dudes can carry more club weight and they don't make that disgusting noise that llamas do (not to mention the spitting, yuck).

Contact Yampa Valley Yaks today for more information.

And now for more yak facts:

*Yaks are compatible with most agricultural operations
*Yaks require no special fencing and existing cattle facilities are okay
*Yaks are livestock and qualify for certain tax advantages
* No permits are needed to own yaks
*Yaks are income producing
*Yaks are disease-resistant and cold-climate hardy
*Yaks are "easy keepers" and do not require special diets
*Yaks can be readily cross-bred with cattle
*Yaks can be docile and are easily tamed when handled regularly
*Yaks have an Old World pleasing look
*Yaks provide useful products such as meat, fiber, milk and hide
*Yak meat has a superb, delicate, beef-like flavor
*Female yaks usually breed at 18-24 months, have a gestation period of 8 1/2 months, and normally produce a single offspring
*Yaks calve easily
*Yak cows can weigh 500-800 pounds and bulls 1200-1500 pounds
*Yaks generally live 20-25 years
*Yaks are fun!!

Yes, yaks are fun! Invite one to your next party and see for yourself. Don't let them drink too much though. Makes 'em ornery.

Say Hello in There

2008-01-13T10:36:00.000-05:00

Chances are, if you live or work in a city, your daily routine will include some type of contact with persons known as the "chronically homeless". By chronic, I am referring to those that tend to be the most visible, but not the most representative, of a large group of people in this country that live in extreme poverty with no permanent residence to call home. These street denizens that inhabit corners, parks, bus stops, alleys, and store fronts are often the target of disdain and ridicule from us "proper" folk; but, except for a sidelong glance and quickened step as we pass them by, they are largely ignored. Many of these people are prone to psychotic and bizarre behavior from time to time, making it even more difficult for the average person to view them as rank and file members of society. This is a shame. Just as within every social grouping of people there are the good, the bad, and somewhere in the middle. Their educational, social, and economic backgrounds mirror those of any other part of our everyday society. As does their inherent need to be respected and valued in some small way as a human being. I think we tend to forget that conveniently as a way to feel better about their plight as people living on the street. If we can somehow dehumanize, or demonize these street characters, we can rationalize our lack of sympathy or assistance and sleep better at night knowing it's their fault, not ours. Maybe it is their fault. People make mistakes. Maybe it's not their fault. People get ill. If we knew them as people, knew them by name, we would feel a larger degree of obligation to help. Human nature is funny that way. Identity is something we humans rely on to get through every day of our lives yet we, unwittingly, deny many of our homeless brothers and sisters the right to have one. These street people are thought of and referred to as a collective of nameless, faceless units. The "homeless", one size fits all.

The issue of identity, or the lack thereof, was beautifully addressed in an article by Summer Teal Simpson entitled "Hello My Name Is" in the recent edition of "The South", a magazine covering Savannah and the Georgia Coast. In addition to an excellent reporting of Savannah's efforts to reduce the homeless population, she, through a series of interviews and photographs introduces the readers to some of Savannah's more colorful and interesting citizens. Though there backgrounds are diverse, they all have the label of "chronically homeless" in common. While there faces may be known to many in downtown Savannah, their names, or true identities are not. Ms. Simpson has corrected that in a powerful way through this article. Left out of the on-line addition of "The South" are the pictures and brief biographies of the individuals that were showcased in the actual magazine piece. These are reproduced below:

HELLO, my name is: MR SAMPSON

"A fixture of Calhoun Square, Mr. Sampson's mind seems jumbled with thoughts, though he is great with numbers and recites old addresses [and phone numbers] with methodical ease. Mr. Sampson was once a clergyman. It's easy to imagine his thick leathery hands christening a child or thumping a bible. He says he once sang in the choir, and lifts his drooping neck to tell us of his affection for Motown. Though he seems to get confused easily, he has kind eyes and a soft demeanor. He raises his head toward the steeples of Wesley Monumental United Methodist Church, and immediately knows it's time to move on. It occurs to me that this is how he tells time."

HELLO, my name is: TOM

"Tom is a wild-eyed man from the West Coast who likes hard rock, namely Steppenwolf. One of downtown's most familiar faces, Tom fluctuates between normalcy and delusion as he speaks on the corner of a lane off Broughton Street.
"Wow...you have great teeth," he says, eyes darting and his frame shifting as he struggles to make sense of my questions. He tells me he was once a Premadaneous dinosaur; I'm not sure what that is, but it sounds pretty cool.
As he turns to leave, he nervously thanks us for the coffee and cigarettes we bought him. He pauses to rummage through a trash can, then calls back: "Take care of those teeth."
And then he continues on his way.

HELLO, my name is BOB

"Most people know him as "Guitar Bob". He sports a handlebar mustache, shaggy hair and a cowboy hat. He can be relied upon to serenade passersby with his guitar and repertoire of bluegrass standards from a bench in Wright Square nearly every morning. "There's three things that the world needs more of," he says. "Love, laughter and music." He is currently learning to play the fiddle.
Bob has a son in the Marines and a daughter in Kentucky--both of whom he raised while caring for his ill mother until her death. It was not long after that he fell on hard times. "I used up all my resources taking care of my mother and getting my kids grown," he explains. Originally from Tifton, Bob has been "houseless," as he calls it, for five years. "At first I was scared to be that guy living under the bridge," he says. "Then I accepted it and knew that the good Lord was trying to teach me something and whenever he's done I'll move on."
He has wide, smiling eyes and is wonderful company. "Bob is a great character and a great man," says a regular at the Rail Pub, where Bob sometimes visits."

HELLO, my name is: BENNIE

"You gonna owe me for this, dude," Bennie says as he poses for his photo. A small, vocal man with rough, raw hands and an affinity for anything SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design), Bennie grew up in Savannah and spent some time in the Bronx before moving back South. Acting as a self-appointed protector of all students who roam the streets of downtown, Bennie says SCAD reminds him of his own "good ol' days," but warns kids today to take better care of themselves. "You've got to look out for yourself," he advises. "Be sure to walk two at a time. Don't go by yourself. That is uncool." Once, he alerted police to a bad situation and was able to save a young woman from rape and robbery. "I'm hero turned zero'" he says, his bloodshot and silvery-blue eyes beaming.
He also adores the Sentient Bean, saying it's the best place in town for coffee. "People can come there and be theirself," Bennie says. His presence at Forsyth Park coffee shop has impacted employees as well. "Bennie always offers words of encouragement to those around him, even though some passers by just dismiss him," says Travis, a Bean Barista,"

HELLO, my name is: RUSSELL

"Russell has a thick, tobacco-stained beard and intense eyes. Originally from Pittsfield, MA, he grew up in Jacksonville and was orphaned at age six. At seventeen, he robbed a convenience store with two friends; two hours after the robbery, the store clerk died of a heart attack. Russell and his friends were tried as adults and sentenced to ten years in prison for third degree murder. A he describes it, he was a racial minority in the prison where he was incarcerated and a constant target of violence.
After he was released from prison, Russell began a new life. A long-time resident of Jacksonville, he went to work for his father, a dentist, and enrolled in college, After nine years of schooling, only one year away from his dental license, Russell became addicted to cocaine. "It's not about being smart," he explains, "It's about being addicted." He is still affected by these weaknesses. He now lives in and out of hotels, frequents the library and reads a couple of books a week. "I try to have dignity and manners," Russell says, "I appreciate the finer things in life.""

Neither these stories nor these individuals are unique. Having worked as a mental health and substance abuse counselor, and social worker in various locations around the country, I know this to be true. What is unique is their opportunity, through Ms. Simpson's piece, to be graced with an identity in the eyes of the public. For this, I'm sure they derive a degree of satisfaction that surpasses any amount of social service or welfare programs that may give them a hot meal and a blanket. Hopefully, someone will now see them on the street and address them by name, give then a nod, or simply a smile. As Michael Stewart, an outreach minister in Savannah states, "People can go just about anywhere and get food and clothes, [but] the best thing you can do for them is spend time with them."

I've been out of the world of social work for a long time now. Long enough to forget the simple lessons that Ms. Simpson's article teaches. I'm thinking of ways to volunteer my time to those that need a little dignity and respect in their lives. Maybe everyday people's time and humanity is worth far more than the dollars they may donate to homeless causes. Even if the time involves nothing more than looking a homeless person in the eye and saying hello in there.

Peace

Uh, Say What?

2008-01-11T11:38:00.000-05:00

With the prevalence of enhanced technologies like U-Tube and instant tabloid news twenty four hours a day, if someone screws up, they become the object of worldwide scrutiny and ridicule. Take, for instance, that poor little girl from South Carolina competing in the Miss Teen USA competition. Thanks to the world wide web and television, she became infamous overnight for being the stereotypical dumb beauty pageant contestant. One would have thought, from all the attention, that she was the first person ever to make a dumb statement in one of those shows. Think again. In honor of Miss Teen What's-Her-Name (15 minutes are up), we have dredged up a gem from the past (before we measured stupidity as a sport).

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as
Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: 'I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever,'

-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest .

Bet she's glad U-Tube wasn't around in 94.

Nationwide Chain Bans Album

2008-01-10T12:24:00.001-05:00

Wal Mart Stores announced today that they would not be selling the new album by the Geeky Boys because of cover art that may be offensive to some of its customers.

Store spokesman, Rufus Bossmaster states, “while we do recognize that our profits may be affected by this move, our employees and customers don’t need to be subjected to pictures such as the one on the cover of those boys’ new record”

Mr Bossmaster goes on to say that, although some record companies and their affiliates may not have a problem distributing the record, “Wal Mart stores have an image to uphold when it comes to this kind of thing”.

The album, “Disco Goes Geeky” is set for release April 1 by Beano Records. It is the second release following the Boys’ platinum debut, “Salsa at the Synagogue” that was widely distributed and sold at all Wal Mart locations nationwide.

Beano Records’ chairman, Al Knight, called Wal Mart’s action “despicable de-facto censorship in its truest form”.

The cover of the record at issue (and shown here), depicts the boys doing the YMCA cheer at an art museum. “Hey, we only have 3 guys in the band. We needed a fourth and who better than the big guy to help us out? Guys just want to have a little fun you know” says the groups leader Cash Money.

Beano Records projects multi-platinum sales for the new release with or without Wal Mart partnership and refuses to consider a brown paper wrapper for the album’s controversial cover.

Pain in my A##

2008-01-09T14:23:00.000-05:00

I was reading Jon Baliles' Byrd Theater posting on RCR this morning and am very glad that someone else feels strongly about the seats in that place. I love the Byrd Theater and make it a point to attend the VCU French Film Festival there each year. I must say however, after three marathon days of film viewing, my ass feels like its been cross country on a tricycle.

I went to see Bruce Hornsby there and, between the large lady breathing popcorn breath on me and the seat sloping downward at a 45 degree angle, I couldn't even enjoy the show. I sat there that night doing some mental calculation on the actual cost of seat replacement for the theater and decided that, at 2 bucks a pop for second run movies, the seats may not get replaced this millennium.

I've since reconsidered my pessimistic prediction and decided that there's got to be a way to help the old Byrd out on this. Hell, there are benefits thrown for much less than this noble cause and I'm sure there are enough sore asses out there that would be more than willing to throw in just to avoid one more event sitting on those portable ATMs (ass torture machines).

Thanks to the world wide web, I've priced theater seats and it looks to me they can be had for about $150 each. For a 1400 seat theater like the Byrd, that comes to approximately $200,000. Now there are all kinds of ways to raise money. There's benefit shows, fund drives, corporate sponsorship, etc. Hell, they might even be able to get a grant from the National Hemorrhoid Prevention Society. All that is needed is for us to get behind (sorry) this thing. I'm willing to give my share to whomever can spearhead this effort. I give dollars to feed and care for both animals and humans but, by god, it's time to devote some resources to my ass!

This is a call to all that are willing to share ideas and devote time to this issue. An ass is a terrible thing to waste!

Yak Yak Yak

2008-01-08T12:36:00.000-05:00

I have a new found fascination with the yak. Some people like frogs, elephants, trolls, and the like. Me, I like yaks. Maybe it's because they are rare here in America. Or maybe because they are much healthier to eat than cows. Hell, it may be that I like to say yak. Yak's a good word. It's more fun to say than cow, or buffalo for that matter. I really can't wait to actually see my first yak. Hopefully I'll get that chance when I visit China in May.

My interest in all things yak has led me to a whole new world of fun facts. Thanks to my curiosity and the world wide web, I have discovered that yak farming is a fledgling enterprise here in the U.S. and, if one aspires to start a herd, their dreams are only a click away. I highly recommend yak-man.com . The Yak Man owns the largest spread of yak in Eastern North America so he knows his stuff. He also sells yak meat from his website. Angie bought me a whole big box of yak jerky for Christmas and it made my holiday complete. Yampa Valley Yaks is another good source for yak info. Did you know that there was even a yak rescued from Mississippi following Hurricaine Katrina? A yak farmer in Nebraska went down and saved what was probably the only yak in Mississippi, took him back home and now keeps him as a pet that follows him around the farm like a dog. How many stinkin' cows will do that?

I can't wait to order some yak steaks. Imagine the look on your guests faces when you hoist a lip smackin hunk a yak off the grill. Now there's a cure for the common barbecue! Check out the following recipes:

Chipotle Yak Chili

2 T. olive oil
6 cloves garlic
2 lb. ground yak
1 large onion
2 chipotle chilies in adobo sauce, chopped
1/2 t. black pepper
1 can black beans (optional)
1 t. salt, or to taste
1 28 oz can diced tomatoes
1 bay leaf
1 t. ground cumin
2 t. dried oregano
3 T. chopped fresh cilantro

Brown the garlic, onion, and ground yak in the olive oil. Add the rest of the ingredients except the cilantro. Simmer partially covered for about 45 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in the cilantro and simmer uncovered for 5 minutes. Add more salt and pepper to taste if necessary.

Yakburger Cashew

1 onion, chopped
2 T. butter
1 lb. ground yak
8 oz. egg noodles, cooked
4 oz. can mushrooms
1/2 c. stuffed green olives, sliced
1/2 lb cheddar cheese, sliced
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1/2 c. milk
1/2 t. salt
1/2 t. pepper
1/2 c. cashews
1/2 c. chow mein noodles

In an ovenproof skillet, brown onion in butter, then add yak meat and brown. Add cheese and let it barely melt. Mix rest of ingredients except cashews and chow mein noodles, and pour over meat and cheese. Bake uncovered at 375 degrees for 35 minutes. Top with cashews and chow mein noodles, and bake 15 minutes more.

I don't think I'll rest until the whole fruited plain is covered in yak. This country needs a change. Screw a bunch of boring cows. Just think. If we would have started this movement 200 years ago, there may have been no cowboys! They'd be Yakboys! We might be watching the Dallas Yakboys play every sunday. Catchy huh?

So please, go to the website link and buy some yak. You will be amazed how good it is. Hell, if your backyard is big enough, buy a whole yak. Give Fido someone to play with. And when you do, tell the Yak Man, Mephisto Phil referred you to him. It won't get you any discounts yet but who knows. I'm in this for the long haul.

Annie Leonard

2008-01-04T13:01:00.000-05:00

Having devoted previous post topics to Annie Leonard and her marvelous production, The Story of Stuff, I've been following the film's reviews and general buzz she's created. I've been pleasantly surprised that her film has had very few detractors and, what critical reviews I have read, deal more with nit-picking than substantive argument. That made me even more curious as to the her credentials. It turns out that Ms. Leonard packs some serious heat that has, no doubt, helped her escape the fray of conservative naysayers that would normally be frothing at the mouth to discredit a film such as this one. The following is a brief summary of those credentials:

"Annie Leonard is an expert in international sustainability and environmental health issues, with more than 20 years of experience investigating factories and dumps around the world. Coordinator of the Funders Workgroup for Sustainable Production and Consumption, a funder collaborative working for a sustainable and just world, Annie communicates worldwide about the impact of consumerism and materialism on global economies and international health.

Annie’s efforts over the past two decades to raise awareness about international sustainability and environmental health issues has included work with Global Anti-Incinerator Alliance, Health Care without Harm, Essential Information and Greenpeace International. She currently serves on the boards of GAIA, the International Forum for Globalization and the Environmental Health Fund. Previously she has served on the boards of the Grassroots Recycling Network, the Environmental Health Fund, Global Greengrants India and Greenpeace India.

During the 1990s, Annie visited countries throughout Asia to track exported waste from the U.S. and Europe. She documented her findings in many articles and testified before the U.S. Congress in 1992 on the issue of international waste trafficking, in an effort to ban US waste exports to the Third World."

Very impressive indeed. Check out her blog too. She's got a lot to say at a time when it needs to be heard.

Ah, Beijing

2008-01-04T11:05:00.000-05:00

My thoughts are of China today, as they have been ever since our trip was confirmed. It's been a life-long dream of mine to visit the People's Republic and it's come true! With this realization comes the business of preparation, so for the next few months I'll be busying (is that a word?) myself with such trivialites as learning the correct symbol for the men's bathroom and how to navigate in a world so different than ours. I'm excited yet, at the same time, really guarded for fear that this trip won't actually happen. I guess it's like that for all dreams that one secretly fears will never materialize. But, as of today, things are a go and I'm dreaming of all the exotic foods I'll have the opportunity to eat. Believe or not, I'm really stoked over the prospect of eating foods that most have only seen watching Fear Factor. You know, the disgusting, gross out stuff that reality TV contestants have to gag down to the delight of us American boob tube voyeurs. Stuff like coconut grubs, giant cockroaches, scorpions, worms, and other delightfully exotic fare. Thanks to folks like Anthony Bourdain and Andrew Zimmern, I'm actually longing to treat my palette to things that Americans find disgusting. I found this picture today of a street vendor in Beijing, our first scheduled stop, selling scorpions on a stick. Can't wait to post of picture of me eating one. They are supposed to be very good for you. We'll see. Hopefully, I won't spend my whole trip searching for the men's room.

Dogs and Chocolate Don't Mix

2008-01-03T13:18:00.000-05:00

Did you ever hear anyone talk about chocolate being poisonous to dogs and wonder if it's true? Well wonder no more. I'm here to tell you first hand it is. On New Year's Eve, during a rather raucous celebration, our 25 lb. cocker spaniel went unnoticed as she stood up and scarfed a gallon sized ziplock bag full of chocolate fudge from our dining room table. Before anyone noticed she had polished off the entire bag of fudge and fled the scene, leaving our labrador, Abbie behind to lick up the remaining crumbs. At first report, it was the big dog that had been the gluttonous culprit, causing me less concern because of her size; however still worried. Keeping a watchful eye on Abbie, I continued to party on into the new year.

After about an hour with no sign of illness from my lab, and more than little sign of drunkeness from the humans, I hear a ruckess in the kitchen. Upon investigation, I find the entire kitchen wet with brown puke and a hyperactive cocker spaniel weaving between the legs of horrified guests who are also threatening to hurl at the sight of the mess.

And there began the all night vigil with the stupid cocker spaniel who ate about a pound of fudge. By morning there was hardly a spot in the house that hadn't been fouled and every towel in the place used to mop up the mess. By daybreak, the dog, who is blond, was chocolate brown in color and thrashing around in a bathtub full of water, lapping water from the spigot, and puking it back out as soon as she swallowed it. Having read about chocolate poisoning in dogs, I knew there was little to be done except wait it out and try to keep her from dehydration. There we were. Drunk and disheveled, in a completely destroyed bathroom, holding a convulsive brown, wet, shivering creature, and not entirely sure that we wanted her to pull through after the ordeal she had put us through for the past several hours.

Well she did pull through. Just like the time she ate a Budweiser can. She must be indestructable. I have since learned that a potentially lethal dose of fudge, for a dog her size, is about 5 oz. She ate a fucking pound! While she is still with us, I must say I have never seen a dog that sick. Ever heard the saying "sick as a dog"? It's pretty damn sick.

Since that night, I've been trying find out who brought that bag of fudge to the party but, so far, no one has owned up to it. I just want to send them a thank you card.

Next year, the party's at someone else's house.

Let's Crunch Some Numbers

2008-01-03T10:45:00.000-05:00

I read an article in the Richmond Times Dispatch today that reports the average American family travels by car 23,100 miles a year and will spend a projected $3,372 on gas in 2008. This projected expense is based on an average of $2.95 per gallon for the gasoline to travel those 23,100 miles. Being the analytical geek, I decided to play with these numbers a bit.

I’m assuming that the average household has two cars and two wage earners that commute to work. If working full time, they will commute to work about 250 days this year. This is based on 5 holidays, 10 days of vacation, and 100 weekend days. Let’s say the family logs 1000 miles while on vacation and 50 miles per day while off for holidays and weekends. That means that the average household is traveling 67.4 miles each day during their 250 days commuting back and forth to work. This breaks down to an average per-person one way commute each work day of 16.8 miles. Judging from the people I work with, that seems valid.

OK, now let’s look at the projected cost of the gasoline. If the average family is going to spend $3,372 to travel those 23,100 miles, that means their cars are going to get an average 20 miles per gallon of fuel. Now, just for fun, let’s say the average family gets 30 miles to a gallon of fuel. That $3,372 in gas goes down to $2,272 for a savings of $1,100 per year!

Now, just for giggles, let’s assume that we cut our commuting mileage in half on top of increasing our fuel efficiency. By combining the two strategies that average family will realize a projected fuel cost savings of nearly $2,000 in 2008. Perhaps even more importantly, from a global perspective, that family will have also used about 650 less gallons of gasoline.

Now, just one more leap here. With about 115,000,000 of these American households that could save an average of 650 gallons of gas per year, the potential per year gallons of liquid gold we could save comes to 74,750,000,000!!!!!!!!!

Who says we don’t have any power to change things?

Tea Leaf Green

2008-01-02T14:41:00.000-05:00

One of the top touring jam bands out of San Francisco rolled into Richmond today to lay down tracks for an upcoming studio album. David Lowery of Cracker and Camper Van Beethoven fame owns a recording studio here and has signed on as the producer for the new Tea Leaf Green album.

For those not familiar with TLG, they've been touring relentlessly for the past 10 years and have been making a big name for themselves with some help and support from the likes of Trey Anastasio (of Phish fame) as well as winning Song of the Year award at the 6th Annual Jammy Awards in 2006. I've seen them perform on several occasions and they put on a solid show. Those that frequent Richmond's live music halls may be lucky enough to catch a late night, impromptu appearance from some of the guys as they will be town for the next few days. The new record will be the fifth studio effort for TLG and the first since they got a new bass player, Reed Mathis. In addition to their studio albums, TLG has also released 5 live albums. Check them out sometime. They also have some shows posted on archive.org for your downloading pleasure.

Ringing in the New Year

2008-01-02T12:41:00.000-05:00

A good friend of mine is fond of the saying: "Growing old is inevitable...Growing up is optional" We proved that to be true as we ushered in the new year at a local bar in Richmond on NYE. As the pictures attest, there was much fun to be had as the band cranked out Dead tunes and delirious mayhem ensued. Needless to say, January 1 lived up to its billing as National Hangover Day and all us kids layed around licking our wounds, relishing the fact that we're still kicking after all these years.

Sad News

2007-12-21T09:10:00.001-05:00

Despite recent reports of sightings in South America, news reports and pictures out of Bentonville, Arkansas today confirm our worst fear. Santa is dead. Sources close to the jolly old fellow say he died of a broken heart having layed off the last of his elves due to the crushing competition from the Chinese toy market, coupled with increasing flood damage to his largest North Pole toy manufacturing facility.

As evident from the photo, kids are taking it pretty hard; however, grief counselors have been called in to assist and will be available to meet with youngsters at Wal Mart Stores nationwide throughout the holiday season.

Let's Role

2007-12-20T13:59:00.000-05:00

With all the recent hoopla over the Spears family’s reproductive practices, the term “role model” immediately gets tossed into the mix by journalists and soccer moms chafing to vent their righteous indignation over another celebrity leading their precious kids down the path of sin. The term, role model, has become such a part of our culture, it’s acquired a whole new meaning and significance to those that would expect actors, media whores, and ball player’s to set the example for their stupid kids to live by. Get real people. Kids screw because they have genitals. It obviously doesn’t matter if you’re rich, famous, white, black, or live in a trailer on the lot of Nickelodeon studios. Kids don’t do it because their favorite celebrity does it. They do it because it is a natural part of maturation and, if you want to talk about role models, their parents did it too.

So how did this role model thing become so damn important in pop culture and what the hell does it really mean? Well, back in the 1950’s (before human sexuality was invented), a noted Sociologist named Robert Merton came up with the notion that people aspired to a certain level of society because of the social groups they associated themselves with. He coined the term, “reference groups” as being a major factor in determining how a person would behave. That’s hardly arguable. If a person identifies with say, upper middle class society, he/she probably won’t be caught dead selling crack on the corner of third and Jefferson Streets. Instead, they will tailor their illicit activities to the acceptable norm of their “reference group”. This was a nice little paradigm. It could hardly be classified as earth shattering insight, but it wasn’t a controversial or provocative theory either; rather, just a nice little piece of sociological mumbo-jumbo to fill the textbooks. Now, fast forward to the 1970s when individuals began to define roles for themselves as agents for social and political change for other to emulate. The term “role model” came into vogue and it has since morphed into the soul and collective conscience of the Nu-Speak Generation.

But what the hell is a role and why does it need to be modeled? A role is a) a character or part played by an actor, b) a social behavior of an individual, or c) a function or a position. It’s easy to see that everyone has a role in their social or professional life, but not as easy to see why it’s mandatory for society to demand the role that an individual assumes. If a person wants to reach a certain goal, he/she may choose to assume a certain role to get there but, again, that’s up to the individual. If a person’s role is of their own choosing, then why on earth should we expect Ellie Mae and Ellie Mite, er, Britney and Jamie Lynn to live up to our expectations anymore than that crack dealer on the corner. Nowhere in their entertainment contracts is the clause requiring them to raise our fucking kids. If we don’t like or respect their behavior, then we ignore them and they slither back to Mudslide Louisiana or wherever the hell they’re from. Obviously, since that hasn’t happened, people like the role they have assumed. But, are they models that others somehow blindly emulate because of some subliminal, Svengali like hold they have on our impressionable psyches? And, is it their obligation as public figures to give a shit? No and no.

The term, role model, is about as meaningless as the importance attached to it. It gives parents something to bitch about and famous people something to capitalize on in their pursuit of fame and money. We as people assume our roles based on our own wit, guile, and goals (or lack thereof) and whether we had a model to help us makes little difference. Think about it. Did you ever once regret something you did, and blamed doing it on an actor, musician, athlete, politician, or Paris Hilton? If the answer to that question is yes, then you should go get a role model.

Trouble in Bizarro World

2007-12-19T14:33:00.000-05:00

File this under "What's Wrong With This Picture"

Something tells me there is a great back story here.

More Stuff About Stuff

2007-12-19T08:44:00.000-05:00

Annie Leaonard, my new hero, has posted an essay on Gristmill that addresses our country's obsession with consuming massive amounts of "stuff". While it is basically a summary of what she covers in her short film, The Story of Stuff, its a good read. Check it out below:

It's that time of year again. The bells are jingling and the registers are ring-ting-tingling, too. Black Friday has come and gone, and Cyber Monday orders are in the mail. Now we're wasting time in parking-lot traffic jams and long checkout lines, all the while trying to maintain our holiday cheer.

The National Retail Federation predicts that Americans will spend $474.5 billion this holiday season. That's up 4 percent from last year's whopping $456.2 billion spent on clothes, video games, and hot tech toys.

Do we really need to repeat history? Recent tradition, supported by plenty of well-crafted holiday advertisements, says "Yes."

Our current state of consumer mania -- our manufactured wants, must-haves and can't-live-withouts -- was born during the post-World War II era, when our country was trying to rebuild its economy. The best strategy, according to retail analyst Victor Lebow, was to make consumption a way of life. And boy, have we ever!

What began as a strategy to improve the American economy, however, has become an American way of life. Our stuff demonstrates our self-worth, and shopping makes us feel good -- or so we think. We have to keep shopping to keep up with the trends or to replace our outdated stuff. From the limited life cycle of personal computers to rotating wardrobe styles, the products we buy are designed to break quickly or to go out of fashion, requiring speedy replacement either way.

This notion of planned and perceived obsolescence drives the machine of American consumerism year-round. Research shows that up to 80 percent of products in the U.S. are used once and then trashed. All of this shopping is taking its toll.

The cycle of buying stuff, tossing it, and buying new stuff at such a rapid pace is depleting the planet's natural resources, putting our health at risk, and harming communities around the globe. The cycle is also draining us of our time and the energy we need to enjoy the things we really value, like family, friends, and free time. Ironically, we're participating in a system focused on stuff that is designed to make us feel good, but we're not even happy. In fact, as a country, our happiness is actually declining.

Still, watching TV and shopping top our leisure-time activity list. We watch more TV now than ever before, and we shop at double the rate we did 50 years ago. It is an insidious cycle. We watch TV, and advertisements tell us what we need to buy. Then we go out and buy it. And by the time we get home, the TV is telling us that there is still more stuff we need to buy, especially during the holiday season.

It is time we found another way -- a more sustainable and healthy way -- to celebrate the holidays. Maybe we can spend more time together instead of spending so much money on more stuff to give each other. That would be a good start, but there is only so much we can do as individual consumers. To really make change, we need to challenge this system that encourages endless consumption and ask others to challenge it, too.

We need to work together to transform today's throwaway economy into one that prioritizes environmental sustainability and social justice over stuff. Creating that kind of change would really be something to celebrate.

So before you make your holiday shopping list, consider the consumer cycle we're stuck in. Consider the $474.5 billion that retailers and advertisers want us to spend this holiday season on stuff we really don't need. Consider giving a new gift: the gift of change.

The Story of Stuff

2007-12-17T08:33:00.000-05:00

A friend sent me a very cool link to a site that features an animated short called The Story of Stuff. By all means check this out. This 20 minute presentation, narrated by Annie Leonard, is sponsored by The Tides Foundation and Funders Workgroup for Sustainable Production and Consumption. What is the Story of Stuff you ask. Well, their website offers the following:

From its extraction through sale, use and disposal, all the stuff in our lives affects communities at home and abroad, yet most of this is hidden from view. The Story of Stuff is a 20-minute, fast-paced, fact-filled look at the underside of our production and consumption patterns. The Story of Stuff exposes the connections between a huge number of environmental and social issues, and calls us together to create a more sustainable and just world. It'll teach you something, it'll make you laugh, and it just may change the way you look at all the stuff in your life forever.

They aren’t lying. Annie Leonard’s (the writer) ability to encapsulate so much into such a brief and totally understandable presentation is quite unique. It can be understood by children and adults and may even be understandable to politicians.

Give it a look and send it to your friends. It may make a difference.

Poor Michael

2007-12-11T16:26:00.000-05:00

Well glory be, the Vick sentence has been passed and now we get to hear the wailing and teeth gnashing over what a raw deal his highness received. We get to listen to the football zealots who choose to minimize any athlete's actions for fear their entertainment dollar will be devalued. Then there are those whose logical capacity can't quite accommodate the concept of inherent value when it comes to creatures that don't walk upright on two legs. "Hell, it's just a damn dog for god sake. He didn't kill nobody!!"
Then there is the dreaded racial inequality rant. There are those that would dare to suggest that Michael Vick's ethnicity has bearing on the sentence he received. They might attribute the harshness of the sentence to those dumb asses of the caucasion persuasion, who concern themselves with such trivialities as sanctity of life, cruelty to the helpless, telling the truth under oath, interstate transport involving illegal activity, gambling, and ill gotten funds. Those misguided cornballs are somehow out of touch and naturally biased against an innocent brother trying to have some harmless fun. "There just dogs!! He wasn't selling crack!!"
To all this, I would humbly offer the opinion that selling a small yacht's worth of crack would be preferable to the actions of brother Michael and his band of merry men. And no, I am not a card carrying member of PETA either. However, I am thankful that all their (and other organization's) efforts to elevate the value of life in the eyes of the public. I am thankful that they have contributed to a reduction in those that would trivialize the value of a dog's life as well as the cruelty of persons that would exploit them.
Ultimately, however, it was not the cruelty against animals that led to the severity of Vick's sentence. It was his blatant disregard for, and violation of Federal law coupled with the failure to take responsibility for his actions (until indicted) that did him in. He's being shipped down the proverbial river for his crime rather than his cruelty. If the cruelty was to be adequately considered, he may have received more punishment. But many times, that's not up to the courts to punish. That's society's job and I hope the responsibility is not shirked. Especially, when one considers he didn't do what he did for the money. He just enjoyed the thrill of the kill. Nice guy huh?

Just dogs my ass.

Go Elf Yourself

2007-12-07T09:33:00.000-05:00

Our friends Keith and Emily sent us the greatest e-card ever yesterday. It comes from a site sponsored by Office Max called elfyourself.com. The site allows you to download personal pictures and put them on the bodies of dancing elfs, making a hilarious holiday card guaranteed to make your friends and family laugh their ass off. If elfin humor doesn’t suit your holiday spirit, or lack thereof, there is also a companion site called scroogeyourself.com . It’s the same concept for the grumpier, less festive Ebeneezer, like my wife Angie who this morning morphed herself into a dancing Scrooge. Whatever, your holiday persuasion, these things are hilarious and guaranteed to add some fun to your day. Who new Office Max had such a sense of humor! I still won’t shop there however.

I’m Like Really Into Like This Green Thing Man

2007-12-04T17:10:00.000-05:00

Having been a major proponent for environmental responsibility for years now, I have often said that the “movement” wouldn’t take off until corporations could figure out a way to make a buck off of it. Well, lo and behold, Madison Avenue has found that ticket in the biggest buzz word of the new millennium: "green". Yep, just like the color of money. How appropriate that is. Not since the advent of the term "lite" , has one little word spawned such a wild eyed media scramble to attack well intentioned citizens who can’t figure out that environmentalism and consumerism aren’t one and the same.

I fear that today’s impressionable consumer will be lulled into thinking that everything will be ok as long as they buy “green”. Think about how the “lite” food and beverage craze averted a whole generation from obesity…. oh right, it didn’t. Today, we are the fattest society in the history of mankind. We are a society of piranhas trained to flock and attack whatever is hot, be it a hybrid SUV or or a free range chicken. Word people: we can’t buy our way into an environmentally responsible society. Just like anything else, accomplishments are earned through effort. Consumerism without conscience got us into this mess but it will take more than a dash of “green” awareness to get us out of it! It is up to us to demand a change be made. How do we do this? We do it by actions that promote change everyday, be they large or small. Here are some suggestions:

Buy Locally – Support local businesses whenever possible and never, ever enter a Wal-Mart store again. Wal-Mart should be everyone’s public enemy number 1 for numerous reasons ranging from human exploitation to CO2 emissions in both the US and China. But if those aren't good enough for you, suffice it to say, you will sleep better for the rest of your life never having to hear another battered child screaming in the toy strewn aisles of that hell hole of a store. I dream for the day we run those bastards out of business.

Move Closer to Your Work – If you long for the country life so be it. More power to you. Just find a way to work there too. We as a society can no longer afford the luxury of commuting 20+ miles each way to work everyday. Urban sprawl and the energy demands that result are killing us all and we have the power to stop it. Be a part of the solution rather than the problem. Live near your work.

Buy Environmentally Responsible Products – Hey, I didn’t say buying “green” was bad. It’s just a part of the solution. Take the time to know what companies and what products promote energy conservation and environmentalism and make it a point to support them.

Rattle Cages – Demand accountability on environmental issues from your elected officials. We all have them and they are there for us to torment. We owe it to them to make their life miserable. The more time politicians spend answering to us, the less time they will have to get into trouble. Citizens of Idaho, take heed to this.

Re-evaluate Transportation Needs – Walk, bike, scooter, fuel efficient vehicle…… what do all these things have in common? They are all better than that 4 ton gas guzzling behemoth you are putting $100 a week into!!!!

Be Willing to Sacrifice Some Conveniences - For the sake of a cleaner world give up something. Be it plastic bags, chemicals for your lawn, the Hummer (the vehicle, not the uhh....nevermind), pick something, anything……

OK, I feel better now.

Peace

The Rising Cost of Doggie Day Care

2007-11-29T10:29:00.000-05:00

I read this morning that Michael Vick has agreed to put $928,000 in an escrow account for the care of his 48 dogs. My first reaction was holy crap! Where are they staying, the Ritz Carlton? I immediately started doing some math. Let’s see, 928,000 divided by 48 is 19,333 per dog for the rest of their lifespan. Again, seems pretty steep right? Well, maybe not. The average joe that adopts Fluffy can probably expect to shell out about 8,000 bucks for their dog over the pet's lifetime, if they’re lucky. This estimate assumes that the Fluffster doesn’t need expensive surgery, prolonged boarding, health insurance, or extensive training to break their nasty habit of eating anything within six feet of their personal space. From what I understand, the latter item is pretty pricey. I would venture to guess that all 48 of the Vick pups will need the super-sized sensitivity training course. Remember, Mikey killed all of the nice ones in the bunch.

There are many that would scoff at the idea of keeping these dogs alive, arguing the potential danger these animals impose; however, I’m not among that school of thought. Mike Vick is responsible for making these 48 dogs the aggressive, unpredictable killing machines they are (he’s the financier anyway) so he, in turn, should be responsible for their rehabilitation and care. If that entails, weekly visits to the day spa, weekend getaways to the French Riviera, or one on one with Dr. Phil, so be it. These innocent creatures just may be salvageable; however, I not so sure about old Bad Newz Mike.

The Doctor Visit

2007-11-20T16:30:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time, back in 1992 to be exact, an enterprising fellow by the name of James Crupi rolled into Richmond, Virginia to begin a series of interviews with the anointed business leaders of the day. Dr. Crupi was a hot shot business consultant who made a name for himself by consulting with the likes of the U.S. Government and other tired behemoth corporations, telling them what they needed to do to dust off their images and prepare for the new millennium ahead. So impressed were the members of the secret society of the Richmond business elite, they privately commissioned him to undertake a study of the Capital City so that they too might see the light.

Dr. Crupi went to work interviewing “a broad range” of Richmond’s business leaders to ask them how they felt about Richmond’s future. He then used those interviews to compile a report, issued in 1993, entitled “Back to the Future: Richmond at a Crossroads”. This report, with the snappy little title, infuriated many people, not the least of who were quite highly positioned in political leadership of the City. In fact, then Mayor, Roy West tried to have the City Council censure the report. It’s funny how people get so sensitive when “outsiders” come in and tell it like it is. You see, Dr. Crupi’s report happened to make the observation that Richmond was, in essence, going to hell in a hand basket, largely because the political “keys to the city” had been passed to a group of political officials that didn’t know squat about business and all the business leaders had either left town or run for cover. Well it certainly didn’t matter that anyone with more than a second grade education in Richmond already knew that. This dude with the fancy pedigree was issuing a public report and people were going to read it! It was kind of like the time that emperor bought the see through suit. Bad times ahead for old Richmond, that was for sure. The posturing, posing and collective outcry was heard from the wards to the burbs. Even the good old Times Disgrace got in on the rebuttals to Dr. Crupi’s opus. While he was an outsider and a Caucasian, it was a damn good thing for sure Dr. Crupi wasn’t a yankee. He may not have made it out of town alive.

The inflammatory report did see the light of day however; and the citizens, politicos, business leaders and media have had fifteen years to collectively chew on it. Fortunately, some of its parts were not spit out and we have come to be stronger for the repast. As a result of Crupi’s report (or despite it perhaps), Richmond now enjoys a stronger and more representative government, the City is undergoing a new business renaissance, the tax base is improving, and the core and river front areas are getting a badly needed face lift. All of these things point to a new Richmond ahead…. Right? Well, the answer may not be a resounding yes quite yet.

That old “secret society” of business elite has now become a little more involved these days, not to mention a little younger, and, lo and behold, they invited old Jim Crupi back to Richmond this year for round two. It seems that, just like some of their predecessors, they needed to buy a little clout to issue the same conclusions that John Q. Citizen can make for free (and does constantly). Anyway, Dr. Crupi has left another report on our doorstep entitled “Putting the Future Together”. I would urge everyone to read both reports, but particularly the latest one. I would link it to this blog were I not such an technological failure.

This time, it appears the dear Doctor has learned the importance of mixing some honey with his medicine to make it easier to swallow. He is careful to acknowledge that “Richmond has accomplished much” over the last fifteen years since his last check-up. While some may take exception to his implication that the City’s progress is somehow a result of his 1993 recommendations, few can argue that many of his “observations” have been successfully addressed. Perhaps we can forgive him his trespasses since he was nice enough to pat us on the back for building that nice new renamed airport and creating a strong mayor (indeed) form of government. He even applauds our progress on convincing people not to kill one another! Thank god for his recommendations in that area. We may have never figured that one out were it not for his benevolent intervention. Let me not digress, but get to the point of the matter; being, we’ve got a ways to go folks! As Crupi states, [despite progress] “something is missing. The pieces are not tied together”. Basically, he observes that we are not working together collectively or cohesively to construct a unified vision for a new Richmond. Well, I’ll be damned. Why didn’t anyone ever think of that one! Don’t get me wrong. The dude makes good sense and he makes points that need to be made. Here are some of what I believe to be his best ones:

· The Richmond Metro area has too much per capita motor vehicle traffic (vehicle miles up over 100% in the last 20 years. This is because of what? Urban sprawl! It can’t continue. People need to live closer to where they work. Unrestrained residential development in Richmond’s surrounding counties will kill our City and our economy.

· Richmond needs better mass transit. Period, end of story.

· Richmond needs better schools. It’s not that hard to agree on a solution folks. We know there’s a problem. Let’s address it in a non-partisan way! They aren’t colors, they are kids!

· We need to continue to build and refurbish our core downtown and riverfront (ya think!).

If pushed to come up with one major criticism of Crupi’s work, it would be his antiquated reliance on old paradigms to explain social phenomenon. He continues to draw from the well worn book of “race” and “culture” as a theoretical framework for which to explain and cure all our urban ills. It’s time to get a new book because we’ve read that one too many times. To either explain or address a city’s problems in the context of one group versus another is a recipe for failure. Further, it is offensive to all and beneficial to none when cultural, class or racial lines are drawn between any one group and a tangible goal (in this case building a viable city). Look at this quote from Crupi’s new report:

“Differences in communication styles also contribute to the problem. Opportunities are being lost because perceptions are getting in the way of getting things done. The black community tends to interpret problems in the context of their social consequences while whites tend to view problems in the context of their economic consequences. It’s like watching a discussion between an artist and an entrepreneur. The artist is emotionally expressive and worries about the richness lost by jumping to outcomes while the entrepreneur just wants to solve the problem and views emotional expression as counterproductive.”

I can’t really speak for others but I find this type of stereotypically based crap to be wrong on so many levels. To attempt to explain major issues in this type of sociologically simplistic way is not only lazy but offensive. I believe there to be no more “black” and “white” community. Sure, there are instances where references of this type are somewhat useful; however, this imaginary community of reference can no longer be a vehicle for explaining or addressing the economic or urban issues we are facing. As far as I’m concerned, anyone that seeks to prove their point by referencing people as a collective group, with singular traits and values might as well be selling snake oil. When we fall back on generalizations like this, we become contributing members of a pseudo discipline that has given rise to a kind of conceptual shorthand meant to explain the world in a way that one thinks it should be understood. We are much too multicultural as a population to fall victim to this “old speak” bullshit.

Finally, I believe Dr. Crupi has done a great service to the City of Richmond by blessing us with his learned observations and thought provoking tidbits. But, the time has come for us to strike out on our own. Hopefully, we will not have a need for the doctor to do another follow-up in fifteen years; however, should he feel the need to re-visit, I hope he will be pleased with the progress we have made.

Let Us Give Thanks

2007-11-14T11:05:00.000-05:00

Well folks, it’s almost that time of year when we get to gather around a table filled with food that no rational human would ever consider eating under normal circumstances, and give thanks for another season’s bountiful harvest. Our nation’s farmers have toiled long and hard to bring these gifts to the table so your body may be nourished and sustained and grow strong to withstand the harsh winter ahead. Right? Oh, ok, er… so what if the basted fowl in the center of the table is a genetically engineered mutant that has a closer resemblance to a Beverly Hills housewife than its distant relative known as a turkey. Who care’s if the sweet potatoes and green beans come from China? We’re talking tradition here folks. Were celebrating how far we’ve come. We don’t have to rely on farmers in this country anymore. We’ve got land to build on now that those damn farms are out of the way.

And, come to think of it, Thanksgiving is not so much of a harvest celebration anymore anyway. We can be thankful of how far we have evolved as humans. You know, how we’re one world without borders now, harmonious, one big world family as it were. We’re thankful that the majority of the world thinks like we do and shares the same values. Hell, they’re playing football (real football, not that soccer crap) in Europe and baseball in Asia. Now that’s really something to be thankful for. And what about those foreign cultures we have embraced in this country? Thanks to our newfound tolerance and respect for others, we now have salsa and Doritos in our party bowls instead of those old chips and French onion dip. I even heard of folks serving sushi at some of those fancier Thanksgiving throwdowns. Thanks be to God, Allah, Buddah and all the rest. One world, under er…, a higher power, with liberty and, uh…, well, we’re thankful anyway.

Let’s not forget the material things we all have to be thankful for as well. Time was, all we could be thankful for was a chicken in every pot. Now we can have an SUV in every driveway, a flat screen TV in every den, and a retailer on every corner to sell it to us. Now that, my friends, is something we can all be thankful for.

And let us not forget to thank our Nation’s leaders for sponsoring a day to watch football and a war to protect and preserve our freedom to enjoy all our material gifts. Without the government’s efforts to democratize the poor savages of Iraq and other backward nations, each and every tradition that we hold so dear in this country would be under constant siege. I don’t know about you my friends but I like our little corner of this world just like it is and I’m thankful we have a government that supports the effort to keep it that way. Happy Turkey Day!!

A Bit of Devlish Humor

2007-11-13T14:35:00.000-05:00

Forgive me this indulgence, but this was too good not to pass along:

One day in the future, OJ Simpson Has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where The devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," Says the devil. "You are on my list, but I Have no room for you. You definitely Have to stay here, so I'll tell you What I'm going to do. I've got A few folks here who weren't quite as bad as You. I'll let one of them go, But you have to take their place. I'll even Let YOU decide who leaves." OJ thought that sounded pretty Good, so the devil opened the door to the First room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a Large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, Empty handed. Over, And over, and over he dove in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his Fate in hell. "No," OJ said. "I Don' t think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long." The devil led him to the door of The next room. In it was George W. Bush with a Sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did Was swing that hammer, time After time after time. "No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all Day," commented OJ. The devil opened a third door. Through it, OJ saw Bill Clinton, Lying on the bed, his arms tied over his Head, and his legs restrained In a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what She does best. OJ looked at this in shocked Disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah Man, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said . .

(This is priceless)

"OK, Monica, you're free to go."

Sign of the Apocalypse

2007-11-09T11:45:00.000-05:00

Richmond, Virginia is a strange town. For years, the city’s populace has defined themselves more by their geographic location surrounding the city rather than any kind of “urban-centric” identity. Hardly anyone describes themselves as a Richmonder. Rather, we have West-enders, East-enders, South-siders, and the dreaded and oft ostracized North-siders. All of these directionally focused suburbanites stand in awe of we heathens, hoods, and otherwise ethnically undesirable folk that choose to live “in the city”. Many folks would just as soon drive their SUV off a cliff than go into the city limits of Richmond after dark. Well, if last night is any indication, things may be a changin’ in these here parts of the Capital City. I went to see Zappa (Dweezil, not a cadaver) at Toad’s Place downtown on a weeknight and the place was packed with the most eclectic bunch one could imagine. I even saw a silver haired septuagenarian in the balcony that looked like Eleanor Roosevelt! Looking around the crowd last night brought to mind the movie quote “If you build it, they will come”. Whoever had the stones to build a first class music hall down-town has my respect and gratitude. Especially, in light of the many that have tried and failed to attract suburban cave dwellers out of their holes and into town after dark. Toad’s Place is a terrific venue for both its state of the art sound and its perfect size. Its ability to draw both good acts and a big crowd is a refreshing change to a sometimes stagnant area and I hope the trend continues. Maybe one day this town will grow up and become a real city and the “enders” and “siders” will become just plain Richmonders. Scary thought huh?

"Sacred Cows Make the Tastiest Hamburger"

2007-11-08T13:06:00.000-05:00

This quote, from the late, great Abbie Hoffman sums up in a few words what this blog is all about. Stay tuned....