Friday, December 21, 2007
Despite recent reports of sightings in South America, news reports and pictures out of Bentonville, Arkansas today confirm our worst fear. Santa is dead. Sources close to the jolly old fellow say he died of a broken heart having layed off the last of his elves due to the crushing competition from the Chinese toy market, coupled with increasing flood damage to his largest North Pole toy manufacturing facility.
As evident from the photo, kids are taking it pretty hard; however, grief counselors have been called in to assist and will be available to meet with youngsters at Wal Mart Stores nationwide throughout the holiday season.