Thursday, January 31, 2008

Puuuhleeese, Make it Stop!!

I’ve made a conscious resolution to limit my blogs to either humor or the promotion of ideas and issues I’m passionate about. I never want to come off like some old fart curmudgeon that bitches about what this world is coming to. We have enough Andy Rooneys already. You know the type, has beens or never weres carping about the good old days (which I believe to be a myth) and how things used to be so much better. Things were probably better back then because they had hair and could get it up. Dare I break my rule? Can I suffer in silence? Shit, resolve be damned, I’m about to tread on forbidden ground. TABLOID MEDIA IS KILLING ME!!!!!!

For the love of Christ!, what the hell is it going to take to get Britney Spears off my TV, PC, Grocery Store aisle, and out of my freaking awareness for-eeeeever!!!! Why the hell is it news every time Spears has a meltdown? Well, I know the answer to that. Because, Britney news makes the tabloid industry major $$$$$$. Our public appetite for scandal and dirt is insatiable, and this poor little ignorant hose bag is one of the few that cooperates by allowing public access to her own little private Idaho. I guess Twitney is the heir apparent to Anna Nicole Smith now. Every time she slurs, snorts, farts, belches, or passes out, it becomes a major story accompanied by photos and video footage. How much of this can the general public take? Apparently more than this dude can.

Making my morning rounds to various major news sites, I am aghast to find that every freaking one is prominently displaying a Britney Spears story. Every single one. Curious now, I go to the major European news sites. Britney story there too. I had to go to a damn Chinese news site before there was no Britney story displayed. I couldn’t read a goddam word on the site but at least it was Spears free. Makes me want to go out and buy Rosetta Stone’s Chinese Language CDs. At least those people have the intellect not to be sucked in by the likes of Bayou Brit, the redneck twit.

I guess Andy Warhol wasn’t Nostradamus after all. His fifteen minutes of fame prediction grossly underestimated the public’s appetite for sleaze. Even the lowest forms of humanity can turn their 15 minutes into 15 years, provided they are willing to consistently degrade themselves publicly.

I’m disgusted with myself now. I just wasted 15 minutes of my day and an untold amount of patience ranting about the one person I most want to forget. Maybe she’s not so dumb after all. I think I’ll go buy her new CD. I hear it’s pretty good.

No comments: